ED NOTE: The HTML version of this file is copyright 1997 by ophelia@dementia.org

INTRODUCTION: The premise is simple. Just take people from any part of the public subconscious (usually film or TV characters) and cast them in the principle roles in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." I am merely the custodian of this guide, not the author.

NOTE: Some of these cast lists are incomplete. (For some reason, the Criminologist is left out more often than any other character -- besides Ralph, Betty, and the Transylvanians, that is.) Oh, well.

On with the lists.

"The Brady Bunch" Cast (a.k.a. "The Brady Horror Picture Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Greg Brady
BRAD MAJORS: Peter Brady
JANET WEISS (up to statue part):Jan Brady
JANET WEISS (floor show): Marcia Brady
RIFF-RAFF: Bobby Brady
MAGENTA: Alice (she's a maid)
COLUMBIA: Cindy Brady
DR. SCOTT: Cousin Oliver
ROCKY HORROR: Carol Brady (some theaters have female Rockys)
EDDIE: Mike Brady
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Sam the Butcher

"The Wizard of Oz" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: The Wicked Witch of the West
BRAD MAJORS: Toto (or the Tin Man) [see below]
JANET WEISS: Dorothy Gale
RIFF-RAFF: A flying monkey
MAGENTA: the Tin Man (no heart) [or another flying monkey]
COLUMBIA: a Munchkin (preferably one of the Lolipop Guild)
DR. SCOTT: The Wizard
ROCKY HORROR: The Scarecrow (no brains)
EDDIE: The Cowardly Lion (runs away when scared)

"Sesame Street" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: The Count
BRAD MAJORS: Grover
JANET WEISS: Prarie Dawn
RIFF-RAFF: Bert
MAGENTA: Ernie
COLUMBIA: Elmo
DR. SCOTT: Oscar the Grouch
ROCKY HORROR: Big Bird (Frank could get into counting his feathers)
EDDIE: Cookie Monster
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Kermit (in the "Muppet News Flash" style)

"Little Shop of Horrors" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Audrey II
BRAD MAJORS: Seymour Krelborn
JANET WEISS: Audrey
RIFF-RAFF: Crystal
MAGENTA: Chiffon
COLUMBIA: Ronnette
DR. SCOTT: Mr. Mushnik
ROCKY HORROR: Arthur Denton (the masochistic dental patient)
EDDIE: Orin Scrivello, D.D.S.

"Taxi" Cast (a.k.a. "The Reiger Horror Picture Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Louie DePalma
BRAD & JANET: John & Suzanne Burns (or just have guest stars -- common for "Taxi" -- play Brad & Janet)
RIFF-RAFF: Latka Gravas
MAGENTA: Simka Gravas
COLUMBIA: Elaine Nardo
DR. SCOTT: Rev. Jim Ignatowski
ROCKY HORROR: Bobby Wheeler
EDDIE: Tony Banta
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Alex Reiger

"The Andy Griffith Show" Cast (a.k.a. "The Andy Horror Griffith Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Aunt Bea
BRAD MAJORS: Andy Taylor
RIFF-RAFF: Barney Fife
MAGENTA: Thelma Lou
COLUMBIA: Helen Crump
DR. SCOTT: Floyd the Barber
ROCKY HORROR: Opie Taylor
EDDIE: Gomer Pyle
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Mayor Stoner (not making that name up)

Twentieth Century Political Figures Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: J. Edgar Hoover
BRAD MAJORS: George Bush
JANET WEISS: Margaret Thatcher
RIFF-RAFF: Mahatma Ghandi
MAGENTA: Elenore Roosevelt
COLUMBIA: Eva Peron
DR. SCOTT: Franklin Roosevelt
ROCKY HORROR: Gerald Ford
EDDIE: Rush Limbaugh
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Winston Churchill
RALPH HAPSCHATT: Dan Quayle
BETTY MUNROE: Marilyn Quayle

"The Muppet Show" Cast (a.k.a. "The Rocky Horror Muppet Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Miss Piggy
BRAD MAJORS: Scooter
JANET WEISS: Skeeter (from "Muppet Babies")
RIFF-RAFF: Zoot (the saxophone player)
MAGENTA: Janice (guitiarist for the Electric Mayhem)
COLUMBIA: Camilla (yes, the chicken; the flame of Gonzo's heart)
DR. SCOTT: Sam the Eagle
ROCKY HORROR: Kermit the Frog (imagine Frank/Piggy chasing poor Rocky/Kermit around during "Sword of Damocles")
EDDIE: Gonzo
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Statler and Waldorf

"The Muppet Show" Cast (Second Version)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Dr. Teeth (he calls himself a doctor, plus he's cool)
BRAD MAJORS: Kermit the Frog (too bad they cut "Once in a While," because "Bein' Green" would've made a great substitute song)
JANET WEISS: Miss Piggy
RIFF-RAFF: Gonzo
MAGENTA: Camilla (she'd do a good underwater chicken laugh, wouldn't she?)
COLUMBIA: Janice (Like, wow, fer shure...a lot more like Columbia in the play)
DR. SCOTT: Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
ROCKY HORROR: Animal (during "Touch-a" he could say, "WO-MAN! WO-MAN!")
EDDIE: Fozzie Bear (he could zip in, say "Wocka, wocka," and get a few bad jokes in before Frank kills him)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Sam the Eagle

"Gilligan's Island" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: The Skipper
BRAD MAJORS: Mr. Howell
JANET WEISS: Mrs. Howell
RIFF-RAFF: Gilligan
MAGENTA: Ginger
COLUMBIA: Mary Ann
DR. SCOTT: The Professor
ROCKY HORROR: That guy who surfed to the island
EDDIE: "Wrong Way" Corrigan
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Harold Hecuba

MTV's "The Real World" (#1-3) Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Norman (#1) B
RAD MAJORS: Aaron (#2)
JANET WEISS: Beth S. (#2)
RIFF-RAFF: Puck (#3)
MAGENTA: Becky (#1)
COLUMBIA: Julie (#1)
DR. SCOTT: Dominic (#2)
ROCKY HORROR: Eric (#1)
EDDIE: John (#2)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Judd (#3)
THE TRANSYLVANIANS: Everybody else (#1-#3)

"Star Wars" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Darth Vader
BRAD MAJORS: Han Solo
JANET WEISS: Princess Leia
RIFF-RAFF: C3PO
MAGENTA: R2D2
COLUMBIA: An Ewok
DR. SCOTT: Obi Wan Kanobi ("Or should I say...Obi Wan BEN Kanobi???")
ROCKY HORROR: Luke Skywalker
EDDIE: Chewbacca
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Yoda

Country & Western Singers Cast (a.k.a. "The Rocky Mountain Biscuit Throw")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Johnny Cash
BRAD MAJORS: Donny Osmond
JANET WEISS: Marie Osmond
RIFF-RAFF: John Denver
MAGENTA & COLUMBIA: The Judds
DR. SCOTT: Willie Nelson
ROCKY HORROR: Billy Ray Cyrus
EDDIE: Garth Brooks (or maybe Glenn "Rhinestone Cowboy" Campbell. Think about it! Eddie played by someone with the same last name as Nell -- Campbell!)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Charlie Daniels

"Monty Python's Flying Circus" Cast (a.k.a. "The Monty Horror Python Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: John Cleese
BRAD MAJORS: Eric Idle
JANET WEISS: Connie Booth (Cleese's now ex-wife)
RIFF-RAFF: Terry Gilliam
MAGENTA: Terry Jones
COLUMBIA: Carol Cleveland (honorary Python)
DR. SCOTT: Michael Palin
ROCKY HORROR: Graham Chapman
EDDIE: Neil Innes (honorary Python)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: John Cleeese (again!)

The Alternative Rock Singers Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Morrissey
BRAD MAJORS: Rivers Cuomo (of Weezer)
JANET WEISS: Liz Phair
RIFF-RAFF: Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth (or Henry Rollins)
MAGENTA: Courtney Love (or Bjork)
COLUMBIA: Julianna Hatfield
DR. SCOTT: Lou Reed
ROCKY HORROR: Evan Dando (of the Lemonheads)
EDDIE: Rev. Horton Heat
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: MC 900-Foot Jesus

"Happy Days" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: The Fonz
BRAD MAJORS: Ritchie Cunningham J
ANET WEISS: Mary Beth
RIFF-RAFF: Ralph Malph
MAGENTA: Leather Tuscadero
COLUMBIA: Joanie Cunningham
DR. SCOTT: Al Delveccio
ROCKY HORROR: Chuck Cunningham (the missing brother)
EDDIE: Chachi
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Mr. Cunningham

Breakfast Cereal Mascots Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Tony the Tiger (or Count Chocula)
BRAD MAJORS: The Trix Rabbit
JANET: The Boo-Berry Ghost
RIFF-RAFF: Snap
MAGENTA: Crackle
COLUMBIA: Pop
DR. SCOTT: The Lucky Charms Leprechaun
ROCKY HORROR: Sugar Bear
EDDIE: Dig 'Em
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Toucan Sam

Warner Bros. "Looney Toons" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Pepe Le Pew or Bugs Bunny (Pepe speaks French, but Bugs looks better in drag)
BRAD MAJORS: Porky Pig
JANET WEISS: Petunia Pig
RIFF-RAFF: Marvin the Martian (he could come in at the end with an X-15 Space Modulator)
MAGENTA: Daffy Duck (he's got the speech impediment)
COLUMBIA: Elmira (from "Tiny Toons")
DR. SCOTT: Wile E. Coyote (he would introduce himself as a "Super Genius")
ROCKY HORROR: Pete Puma ("The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head... EEEEIIIIWWW!")
EDDIE: Michigan J. Frog (isn't it perfect?)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Elmer Fudd ("I would wike, if I may, to take you on a stwange journey, huh huh huh.")

Disney Characters Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Cruella DeVille
BRAD MAJORS: Mickey Mouse
JANET WEISS: Minnie Mouse
RIFF-RAFF: Goofy
MAGENTA: The Queen of Hearts (from "Alice in Wonderland")
COLUMBIA: Daisy Duck
DR. SCOTT: Uncle Scrooge
ROCKY HORROR: Gaston (from "Beauty and the Beast")
EDDIE: Donald Duck
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: The Genie (from "Aladdin")

Disney Characters Cast (Second Version)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Goofy
BRAD & JANET: Mickey and Minnie Mouse
RIFF-RAFF: Donald Duck
MAGENTA: Daisy Duck
COLUMBIA: Tinkerbell
DR. SCOTT: Scrooge McDuck
ROCKY HORROR: Pluto
EDDIE: Peter Pan
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Jiminy Cricket
TRANSYLVANIANS: The Seven Dwarfs

"Saturday Night Live" Recurring Characters Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Pat
BRAD & JANET: Todd and Lisa (the Nerds)
RIFF-RAFF: Elwood Blues (of the Blues Brothers)
MAGENTA: Roseanne Roseannadanna
COLUMBIA: Victoria Jackson (as herself)
DR. SCOTT: Father Guido Sarducci
ROCKY HORROR: Hans (or Frans)
EDDIE: Jake Blues (of the Blues Brothers)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: The Pathological Liar

Seventies Rock / Pop Star Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Alice Cooper (or David Bowie)
BRAD & JANET: The Carpenters
RIFF-RAFF: Barry Manilow (or Frank Zappa)
MAGENTA: Donna Summer
COLUMBIA: Linda Ronstadt
DR. SCOTT: Randy Newman
ROCKY HORROR: Paul Williams (?)
EDDIE: Bowser (from Sha Na Na)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Harry Chapin

"The Princess Bride" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Inigo Montoya (they're both soooo cool)
BRAD MAJORS: Westley
JANET WEISS: Buttercup
RIFF-RAFF: Fessick
MAGENTA: Valerie
COLUMBIA: The witch woman (boo! boo!)
DR. SCOTT: Miracle Max
ROCKY HORROR: Humperdinck
EDDIE: Vizzini
THE CRIMIOLOGIST: The grandfather of the sick kid

"The Archies" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Jughead
BRAD MAJORS: Archie
JANET WEISS: Betty
RIFF-RAFF: Mr. Weatherbee (bald)
MAGENTA: Veronica
COLUMBIA: Midge
DR. SCOTT: Dilton
ROCKY HORROR: Reggie
EDDIE: Moose

"Beverly Hills, 90210" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: David
BRAD MAJORS: Brandon
JANET WEISS: Andrea
RIFF-RAFF: Donna (she's freaky looking enough)
MAGENTA: Valerie
COLUMBIA: Kelly
DR. SCOTT: Professor Finley (he's in a wheelchair already)
ROCKY HORROR: Steve
EDDIE: Dylan
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Claire (she could walk around with the video camera and document everything)

"The Beverly Hillbillies" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Dash Riprock
BRAD MAJORS: Mark Templeton, Navy Frogman
JANET WEISS: Ellie May
RIFF-RAFF: Mr. Drysdale
MAGENTA: Jane Hathaway
COLUMBIA: Granny (spunk, that's the common factor)
DR. SCOTT: Jed Clampett
ROCKY HORROR: Jethro
EDDIE: Sonny Drysdale
THE CRIMINOLOGIST(S): Flatt & Skruggs

"The Sipmsons" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Krusty the Clown
BRAD MAJORS: Bart Simpson
JANET WEISS: Lisa Simpson
RIFF-RAFF: Homer Simpson
MAGENTA: Marge Simpson
COLUMBIA: Itchy
DR. SCOTT: Grandpa Simpson
ROCKY HORROR: Maggie
EDDIE: Scratchy
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Ned Flanders

"The Simpsons" Cast (second version)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Montgomery Burns (creepy, lives in a big house)
BRAD MAJORS: Ned Flanders
JANET WEISS: Mrs. Flanders
RIFF-RAFF: Smithers (an underling)
MAGENTA: Marge Simpson (the hair)
COLUMBIA: Maggie
DR. SCOTT: Grandpa Simpson
ROCKY HORROR: McBain (the Schwarzenegger-like bad actor)
EDDIE: Lisa Simpson (the saxophone playing)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Kent Brockman (the TV anchor)

"Seinfeld" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Kramer
BRAD MAJORS: The Drake
JANET WEISS: The Drakette
RIFF-RAFF: George Costanza
MAGENTA: Elaine Benes
COLUMBIA: Delores (a.k.a. Mulva, Gipple, etc.)
DR. SCOTT: Uncle Leo
ROCKY HORROR: Crazy Joe Davola
EDDIE: Newman
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Jerry Seinfeld (who would comment on the plot in stand-up comedy segments throughout the film)

"Cheers" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Sam Malone
BRAD MAJORS: Robin Colcord
JANET WEISS: Rebecca Howe
RIFF-RAFF: Nick Tortelli
MAGENTA: Carla
COLUMBIA: Diane Chambers
DR. SCOTT: Fraiser Crane
ROCKY HORROR: Woody
EDDIE: Norm
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Cliff Clavin

Dead Rock Stars Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Elvis Presley
BRAD MAJORS: Buddy Holly
JANET WEISS: Karen Carpenter
RIFF-RAFF: Bob Marley
MAGENTA: Janis Joplin
COLUMBIA: Nico
DR. SCOTT: Roy Orbison
ROCKY HORROR: Brian Jones (of the Rolling Stones)
EDDIE: John "Bonzo" Bonham (of Led Zeppelin)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: John Lennon

"Super Friends" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Superman
BRAD & JANET: Marvin & Wendy
RIFF-RAFF & MAGENTA: Zan & Jana (the Wonder Twins)
COLUMBIA: Wonder Woman
DR. SCOTT: Batman
ROCKY HORROR: Aquaman
EDDIE: Robin
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: That cool off-screen narrator with the really deep voice

"WKRP in Cincinnati" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Dr. Johnny Fever
BRAD MAJORS: Les Nessman
JANET WEISS: Jennifer Marlowe
RIFF-RAFF: Herb Tarlek
MAGENTA: Mama Carlson
COLUMBIA: Bailey Quarters
DR. SCOTT: Arthur "The Big Guy" Carlson
ROCKY HORROR: Andy Travis
EDDIE: Venus Flytrap

"Scooby-Doo" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Scooby-Doo
BRAD MAJORS: Fred
JANET WEISS: Daphne
RIFF-RAFF: Shaggy
MAGENTA: Velma
COLUMBIA: Scooby-Dee
DR. SCOTT: Shaggy's Uncle Shagworth
ROCKY HORROR: Scooby-Dum
EDDIE: Scrappy
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Vincent VanGhoul (from "The Seven Ghosts of Scooby-Doo")

"The Flintstones" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Frank Frankenstone
BRAD MAJORS: Fred Flintstone
JANET WEISS: Wilma Flintstone
RIFF-RAFF: Barney Rubble
MAGENTA: Betty Rubble
COLUMBIA: Pebbles
DR. SCOTT: Mr. Slate
ROCKY HORROR: Bam-Bam
EDDIE: Dino
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: The Grand Poobah

Classic "Star Trek" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Khan
BRAD MAJORS: Captain Kirk
JANET WEISS: Yeoman Janice Rand
RIFF-RAFF: Mr. Spock
MAGENTA: Lt. Uhura
COLUMBIA: Nurse Christine Chapel
DR. SCOTT: Dr. "Bones" McCoy
ROCKY HORROR: Lt. "Scotty" Scott
EDDIE: Ensign Chekov
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Also Captain Kirk (via the Captain's Log)

"The Mary Tyler Moore Show" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Chuckles the Clown
BRAD MAJORS: Ted Baxter
JANET WEISS: Georgette Baxter
RIFF-RAFF: Murray Slaughter
MAGENTA: Rhoda Morgenstern
COLUMBIA: Mary Richards
DR. SCOTT / EDDIE: Lou Grant (hey, the same actor was often cast as both roles in the play)
ROCKY HORROR: Gordy the Weatherman
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Sue Ann Nivens

"The Bob Newhart Show" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Dr. Bob Hartley
BRAD MAJORS: Dr. Bob Hartley (a challenging dual role for Newhart)
JANET WEISS: Emily Hartley
RIFF-RAFF: Elliot Carlin
MAGENTA: Mrs. Bakerman
COLUMBIA: Carol the receptionist
DR. SCOTT: Jerry Robinson (the dentist)
ROCKY HORROR: Howard Borden
EDDIE: The Peeper
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Mr. Peterson

"The Dukes of Hazzard" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Boss Hogg
BRAD MAJORS: Enos
JANET WEISS: Daisy Duke
RIFF-RAFF: Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane
MAGENTA: Lulu (Boss Hogg's wife)
COLUMBIA: Cooter (in drag as Cooterlumbia)
DR. SCOTT: Uncle Jesse
ROCKY HORROR: Bo Duke
EDDIE: Luke Duke
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Waylon Jennings

"Casablanca" Cast DR.
FRANK-N-FURTER: Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart)
BRAD MAJORS: Victor Lazlo (Paul Henreid)
JANET WEISS: Ilsa Lund (Ingrid Bergman)
RIFF-RAFF: Ugarte (Peter Lorre)
MAGENTA: Yvonne (Madeline LeBeau)
COLUMBIA: Annina Brandel (Joy Page)
DR. SCOTT: Senor Ferrari (Sidney Greenstreet)
ROCKY HORROR: Sascha (Leonid Kinskey)
EDDIE: Sam (Dooley Wilson)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Also Rick Blaine ("Of all the castles on all the rainy nights...")

"Beavis and Butt-head" Cast (a.k.a. "The Rocky Huh-Huh Picture Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Butt-head
BRAD MAJORS: Stewart
JANET WEISS: Daria Morgendorfer
RIFF-RAFF: Beavis
MAGENTA: Lolita
COLUMBIA: Tanqueray (as in, "Hi, I'm Lolita. And this here's Tanqueray.")
DR. SCOTT: Tom Anderson
ROCKY HORROR: Mr. Buzzcut
EDDIE: Todd
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Principal McVicker

"Alice In Wonderland" Cast (a.k.a. "The Jabberwocky Horror Picture Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: The Cheshire Cat
BRAD MAJORS: The White Rabbit
JANET WEISS: Alice
RIFF-RAFF: The Mad Hatter
MAGENTA: The Queen of Hearts
COLUMBIA: The Door Mouse
DR. SCOTT: The Hookah-Smoking Caterpillar (remember the Zen Room?)
ROCKY HORROR: The Jabberwock
EDDIE: The Mock Turtle
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: The White Knight

Talk Show Hosts Cast (a.k.a. "The Talky Horror Picture Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Phil Donahue (the cross-dressing)
BRAD MAJORS: Jerry Springer
JANET WEISS: Jenny Jones
RIFF-RAFF: Montel Williams
MAGENTA: Oprah Winfrey
COLUMBIA: Ricki Lake
DR. SCOTT: Sally Jesse Raphael
ROCKY HORROR: Geraldo Rivera
EDDIE: Richard Bey
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Greg Kinnear

"SCTV" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Joe Flaherty (as Count Floyd, perhaps?)
BRAD MAJORS: Rick Moranis
JANET WEISS: Catherine O'Hara
RIFF-RAFF: Harold Ramis
MAGENTA: Andrea Martin
COLUMBIA: Robin Duke
DR. SCOTT: Dave Thomas
ROCKY HORROR: Martin Short
EDDIE: John Candy
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Eugene Levy

David Letterman Cast (NBC & CBS versions)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: David Letterman
BRAD & JANET: Mujibur & Sirajul
RIFF-RAFF: Paul Schaffer
MAGENTA: Sandra Bernhardt
COLUMBIA: Terri Garr
DR. SCOTT: Larry "Bud" Melman
ROCKY HORROR: Anton Fig
EDDIE: Chris Elliot
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Charles Grodin

"Peanuts" Cast (a.k.a. "The Snoopy Horror Picture Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Snoopy
BRAD MAJORS: Linus
JANET WEISS: Sally
RIFF-RAFF: Woodstock
MAGENTA: Lucy
COLUMBIA: Peppermint Patty
DR. SCOTT: Charlie Brown
ROCKY HORROR: Schroeder
EDDIE: Pigpen
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Marcy

The Beatles / Beatles-Related Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Ringo Starr
BRAD MAJORS: Paul McCartney
JANET WEISS: Linda McCartney
RIFF-RAFF: John Lennon
MAGENTA: Yoko Ono
COLUMBIA: Maureen Starkey (Ringo's ex-wife)
DR. SCOTT: The Mahareshi
ROCKY HORROR: George Martin
EDDIE: Julian Lennon
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: George Harrison

Stand-Up Comics Cast (a.k.a. "The Wacky Horror Picture Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Richard Lewis
BRAD MAJORS: Larry Miller
JANET WEISS: Janine Garofalo
RIFF-RAFF: Richard Belzer
MAGENTA: Joan Rivers
COLUMBIA: Judy Tenuta
DR. SCOTT: Jeff Foxworthy
ROCKY HORROR: Brian Regan
EDDIE: Louie Anderson
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Paul Reiser

The O.J. Simpson Trial Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Marcia Clark
BRAD MAJORS: O.J. Simpson
JANET WEISS: Paula Barbieri
RIFF-RAFF: Kato Kaelin
MAGENTA: Rosa Lopez
COLUMBIA: Faye Resnick
DR. SCOTT: Judge Lance Ito
ROCKY HORROR: Al Cowlings
EDDIE: Robert Shapiro
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: F. Lee Bailey

"Luagh-In" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Tiny Tim
BRAD MAJORS: Henry Gibson
JANET WEISS: Ruth Buzzi
RIFF-RAFF: Dick Martin
MAGENTA: JoAnne Worley
COLUMBIA: Goldie Hawn
DR. SCOTT: Arte Johnson (as the "veddy interestink" guy)
ROCKY HORROR: Alan Sues
EDDIE: David Madden
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Gary Owens

"The Partridge Family" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Keith Partridge
BRAD MAJORS: Rob Reiner as Laurie's biker boyfriend
JANET WEISS: Laurie Partridge
RIFF-RAFF: Danny Partridge
MAGENTA: Shirley Partridge
COLUMBIA: Tracy Partridge
DR. SCOTT: Reuben Kinkaid
ROCKY HORROR: Chris Partridge (#1)
EDDIE: Chris Partridge (#2)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Alan Kinkaid

"Night Court" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Dan Fielding
BRAD MAJORS: Judge Harry Stone
JANET WEISS: Christine Sullivan
RIFF-RAFF: Mac Robinson
MAGENTA: Quon-Li Robinson
COLUMBIA: Roz Russell
DR. SCOTT: Harry's dad, Buddy (John Astin)
ROCKY HORROR: Bull Shannon
EDDIE: Mel Torme
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Phil (Dan's scuzzy pal)

"Frasier" Cast (with guest stars from "Cheers")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Frasier Crane
BRAD & JANET: Norm & Cliff (they could show up at Fraiser's apartment on a rainy night -- common for Seattle)
RIFF-RAFF: Niles Crane
MAGENTA: Daphne
COLUMBIA: Lilith (the relationship gone sour)
DR. SCOTT: Dad
ROCKY HORROR: Woody
EDDIE: Eddie (duh!)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Roz

"Welcome Back, Kotter" Cast (a.k.a. "The Sweathog Horshack TV Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Mr. Kotter
BRAD MAJORS: Vinnie Barbarino
JANET WEISS: Rosalie "Hotzie" Totzie
RIFF-RAFF: Arnold Horshack
MAGENTA: Juan Epstein (the hair)
COLUMBIA: Julie Kotter
DR. SCOTT: Mr. Woodman
ROCKY HORROR: Beau DeLabarre (the Cajun guy who replaced Vinnie)
EDDIE: Freddie "Boom-Boom" Washington
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Principal John Lazarus

"The Dick Van Dyke Show" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Rob Petrie
BRAD MAJORS: Jerry Helper
JANET WEISS: Millie Helper
RIFF-RAFF: Buddy
MAGENTA: Sally
COLUMBIA: Laura Petrie
DR. SCOTT / EDDIE: Mel Cooley
ROCKY HORROR: Richie (Rob & Laura's son)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Alan Brady

"M*A*S*H*" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Cpl. Maxwell Klinger
BRAD MAJORS: Maj. Frank Burns
JANET WEISS: Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan
RIFF-RAFF: Capt. Hawkeye Pierce
MAGENTA: Capt. Trapper John McIntyre
COLUMBIA: Capt. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly
DR. SCOTT: Major Charles Emerson Winchester III
ROCKY HORROR: Capt. B.J. Hunnicut
EDDIE: Lt. Col. Henry Blake
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Col. Sherman Potter

"Mama's Family" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: "Mama" Thelma Harper
BRAD MAJORS: Vinton Harper
JANET WEISS: Naomi Oates Harper
RIFF-RAFF & MAGENTA: Ed & Eunice Higgins
COLUMBIA: Sonja Harper
DR. SCOTT: Iola (Mama's friend)
ROCKY HORROR: Bubba
EDDIE: Vinton "Buzz" Harper, Jr.
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Alistair Quince (who would introduce some episodes of "Mama" as if they were "Masterpiece Theatre"-type presentations)

"Murphy Brown" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Murphy Brown
BRAD MAJORS: Miles Silverburg
JANET WEISS: Corky Sherwood
RIFF-RAFF: Frank Fontana
MAGENTA: McGovern
COLUMBIA: Avery Brown
DR. SCOTT: Jim Dial
ROCKY HORROR: Miller Redfield
EDDIE: Eldin
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Phil

"Our Gang"/"Little Rascals" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Spanky
BRAD MAJORS: Alfalfa
JANET WEISS: Darla
RIFF-RAFF: Buckwheat
MAGENTA: Farina
COLUMBIA: Jackie Cooper
DR. SCOTT: Stymie
ROCKY HORROR: Butch
EDDIE: Pete (the dog)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Porky

Typical John Waters Cast (a.k.a. "The Tacky Horror Picture Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Divine
BRAD MAJORS: David Lochary
JANET WEISS: Mink Stole
RIFF-RAFF: Channing Wilroy
MAGENTA: Mary Vivian Pearce
COLUMBIA: Jean Hill
DR. SCOTT: Edith Massey
ROCKY HORROR: Paul Swift (the "Eggman")
EDDIE: Stiv Bators
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: John Waters
TRANSYLVANIANS: Cookie Mueller, Rikki Lake, Turkey Joe, etc.

"The Ren & Stimpy Show" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Ren Hoek
BRAD & JANET: The unnamed suburban couple from "Rubber Nipple Salesman," "The Boy Who Cried Rat," etc.
RIFF-RAFF: Abner
MAGENTA: Ewalt
COLUMBIA: The Bloody Head Fairy
DR. SCOTT: Mr. Horse
ROCKY HORROR: Stimpy
EDDIE: Muddy Mudskipper
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: The Scotsman

"Bloom County" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Bill the Cat
BRAD MAJORS: Opus the Penguin
JANET WEISS: Lola Granola
RIFF-RAFF: Portnoy
MAGENTA: Hodgepodge
COLUMBIA: Binkley
DR. SCOTT: Cutter John (for the wheelchair)
ROCKY HORROR: Steve Dallas
EDDIE: Rosebud
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Milo Bloom

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Willy Wonka
BRAD MAJORS: Charlie Bucket
JANET WEISS: Charlie's mother (no Oedipus jokes, please)
RIFF-RAFF: An Oompah-Loompah
MAGENTA: Veruca Salt
COLUMBIA: Violet Beauregarde
DR. SCOTT: Grandpa Joe
ROCKY HORROR: Mike Teevee
EDDIE: Agustus Gloop
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Roald Dahl

"Shock Treatment" / "RHPS" Counterparts
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Farley Flavors (Curry was offered the role but turned it down)
BRAD MAJORS: Brad Majors
JANET WEISS: Janet Majors
RIFF-RAFF: Dr. Cosmo McKinley
MAGENTA: Dr. Nation McKinley
COLUMBIA: Nurse Ansalong
DR. SCOTT: Bert Schnick
ROCKY HORROR: Oscar Drill (pure speculation)
EDDIE: "Rest Home" Ricky
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Judge Oliver Wright
THE TRANSYLVANIANS: The DTV audience

Typical Ed Wood, Jr. Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Bela Lugosi
BRAD MAJORS: Ed Wood, Jr.
JANET WEISS: Delores Fuller
RIFF-RAFF: Paul Marco
MAGENTA: Vampira
COLUMBIA: Mona McKinnon
DR. SCOTT: Bunny Breckenridge
ROCKY HORROR: Tor Johnson
EDDIE: Timothy Farrell
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Criswell

"This Is Spinal Tap" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Nigel Tufnel
BRAD MAJORS: David St. Hubbins
JANET WEISS: Jeneane Pettibone
RIFF-RAFF: Derek Smalls
MAGENTA: Bobbi Flekman
COLUMBIA: Cindy
DR. SCOTT: Ian Faith
ROCKY HORROR: John "Stumpy" Pepys
EDDIE: Viv Savage
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Marty DiBergi

The Jacksons Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Michael Jackson
BRAD MAJORS: Jermaine Jackson
JANET WEISS: Janet Jackson
RIFF-RAFF: Tito Jackson
MAGENTA: LaToya Jackson
COLUMBIA: Lisa Marie Presley-Jackson
DR. SCOTT: Joe Jackson (patriarch of the clan)
ROCKY HORROR: Randy Jackson
EDDIE: Bubbles the Chimp
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Kurt Loder (covering the story for MTV)

"Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: The Queen ('nuff said)
BRAD MAJORS: The Prince
JANET WEISS: Snow White
RIFF-RAFF: Grumpy
MAGENTA: Sleepy
COLUMBIA: Happy
DR. SCOTT: Bashful
ROCKY HORROR: Dopey
EDDIE: Sneezy
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Doc

"Phantom of the Paradise" Cast [NOTE: This was an obscure 1974 rock musical directed by Brian DePalma. Like "Shock" and "RHPS" it was released by 20th Century Fox, and together the three films form -- in my opinion -- a loose trilogy. I have all sorts of evidence to back this theory up.]
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Swan
BRAD MAJORS: Winslow Leach / The Phantom
JANET WEISS: Phoenix (who was played by Jessica Harper, the "Shock Treatment" Janet)
RIFF-RAFF: Philbin
MAGENTA: the Death Records receptionist
COLUMBIA: one of Swan's many groupies
DR. SCOTT: the prison warden (a symbol of law and order -- "Society must be protected.")
ROCKY HORROR: Beef
EDDIE: Archie Hahn (lead singer of the Juicy Fruits during first number)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: the film's off-screen narrator

"Green Acres" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Mr. Haney
BRAD MAJORS: Oliver Douglas
JANET WEISS: Lisa Douglas
RIFF-RAFF & MAGENTA: Those two carpenters Alf and Ralph
COLUMBIA: Mrs. Ziffel
DR. SCOTT: Mr. Kimball
ROCKY HORROR: Eb Dawson
EDDIE: Arnold the Pig
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Sam Drucker

"The Addams Family" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Cousin Itt
BRAD MAJORS: Gomez
JANET WEISS: Morticia
RIFF-RAFF: Lurch
MAGENTA: Grandmama
COLUMBIA: Wednesday
DR. SCOTT: Uncle Fester
ROCKY HORROR: Pubert
EDDIE: Pugsley
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Thing (he could write out what he wants to say or do the narration in sign language)

"The Love Boat" Cast (you knew I couldn't resist)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Capt. Merrill Stubing
BRAD: Special guest star Vincent Van Patten
JANET: Vicki Stubing
RIFF-RAFF: Gopher
MAGENTA: Charo
COLUMBIA: Julie McCoy
DR. SCOTT: Dr. Adam Bricker
ROCKY HORROR: Ace the photographer
EDDIE: Isaac Washington
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Special guest star Charles Nelson Reilly
THE TRANSYLVANIANS: The Love Boat Mermaids

"Full House" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Jesse
BRAD MAJORS: Nelson
JANET WEISS: D.J.
RIFF-RAFF: Joey
MAGENTA: Rebecca
COLUMBIA: Michelle
DR. SCOTT: Danny
ROCKY HORROR: Steve
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Stephanie
RALPH & BETTY: Kimmy and Derek (whatta weird couple!)
TRANSYLVANIANS: Everybody else

Household Appliances Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Vacuum Cleaner (he'll suck anything)
BRAD MAJORS: Toaster (toast is boring, Brad is boring)
JANET WEISS: Microwave (hot, fast, and easy)
RIFF & MAGENTA: Washer and Dryer (a matched set)
COLUMBIA: Blender (loves to shake, shake, shake it)
DR. SCOTT: Waffle Iron (he sure waffles at the end)
ROCKY HORROR: Trash Compactor (self-explanatory)
EDDIE: Can Opener (also self-explanatory)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Vaporizer (a lotta hot air)

Musical Instruments Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Guitar
BRAD MAJORS: Oboe
JANET WEISS: Clarinet
RIFF-RAFF: Bass Guitar
MAGENTA: Cello
COLUMBIA: Piccolo
DR. SCOTT: Tuba
ROCKY HORROR: Snare Drum
EDDIE: Saxophone (duh!)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: French Horn

"Les Miserables" Cast (a.k.a. "Les Miserocky Horror Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Thernardier
BRAD MAJORS: Marius
JANET WEISS: Cosette
RIFF-RAFF: Javert
MAGENTA: Eponine
COLUMBIA: Mme. Thenardier
DR. SCOTT: Jean ValJean
ROCKY HORROR: maybe one of Marius's friends
EDDIE: Gavroche
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Fantine

Las Vegas Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Rip Taylor
BRAD MAJORS: Steve Lawrence
JANET WEISS: Edie Gourmet
RIFF & MAGENTA: Sigfried and Roy
COLUMBIA: Liza Manelli
DR. SCOTT: Frank Sinatra
ROCKY HORROR: Tom Jones
EDDIE: Wayne Newton
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: the ghost of Elvis

"Forrest Gump" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Lt. Dan
BRAD MAJORS: Forrest Gump
JANET WEISS: Jenny
RIFF-RAFF: Benjamin Buford Blue ("Bubba")
MAGENTA: Mrs. Gump (Forrest's mother)
COLUMBIA: one of those girls Lt. Dan met on New Year's Eve
DR. SCOTT: Lyndon B. Johnson
ROCKY HORROR: Forrest, Jr.
EDDIE: Wesley (Jenny's activist boyfriend from the 1960's)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Forrest himself

If "RHPS" Characters Were States, Which States Would They Be? Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: California
BRAD MAJORS: Ohio
JANET WEISS: Connecticut
RIFF-RAFF: Maine
MAGENTA: Washington
COLUMBIA: Georgia
DR. SCOTT: Michigan
ROCKY HORROR: Florida (Frank and Janet enjoy his peninsula)
EDDIE: New York
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Massacusettes

Advertising Characters Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Aunt Jemima
BRAD & JANET: The Campbell Kids
RIFF-RAFF: Juan Valdez
MAGENTA: Mrs. Butterworth
COLUMBIA: A Keebler elf
DR. SCOTT: The Ti-D-Bowl Man
ROCKY HORROR: Mr. Clean
EDDIE: The Pillsbury Doughboy
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: The guy on the Quaker Oats box

Christmas-Related Characters Cast (a.k.a. "The Rocky Ho-Ho-Ho-rror Picture Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Santa Claus
BRAD & JANET: Bob and Emily Cratchett
RIFF-RAFF: Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer
MAGENTA: Mrs. Claus
COLUMBIA: The Ghost of Christmas Past
DR. SCOTT: Frosty the Snowman
ROCKY HORROR: Jack Frost
EDDIE: Tiny Tim
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Ebeneazar Scrooge

Or a Cast Just Featuring Santa's reindeer...
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Rudolph
BRAD MAJORS: Dasher
JANET WEISS: Dancer
RIFF-RAFF: Comet
MAGENTA: Vixen
COLUMBIA: Cupid
DR. SCOTT: Blitzen
ROCKY HORROR: Prancer
EDDIE: Donner (as in the Donner party!)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Santa himself

"Laverne & Shirley" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Carmine "The Big Ragu" Ragusa
BRAD MAJORS: Lenny Kosnowsi
JANET WEISS: Laverne DeFazio
RIFF-RAFF: Andrew "Squiggy" Squiggman
MAGENTA: Shirley Feeney
COLUMBIA: Edna Babish
DR. SCOTT: Frank DeFazio
ROCKY HORROR: Sonny St. Jacques (the Hollywood stuntman)
EDDIE: The Fonz (who guest-starred occasonally)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Sgt. Sqeely (the talking pig who appeared in the animated version)

"Benson" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Benson DuBois
BRAD MAJORS: Pete Downey
JANET WEISS: Denise Stevens
RIFF-RAFF: Clayton Endicott III
MAGENTA: Gretchen Krauss
COLUMBIA: Katie Gatling
DR. SCOTT: Gov. James Gatling
ROCKY HORROR: Frankie the speechwriter (played by a young Jerry Seinfeld)
EDDIE: Marcie (who says Eddie can't be female?)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Jessica Tate (from "Soap")

"Hogan's Heroes" Cast (all guys -- we'll say Stalag 13 was having a talent show)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Col. Robert Hogan
BRAD MAJORS: Cpl. James Kinchloe
JANET WEISS: Sgt. Richard Baker
RIFF-RAFF: Col. Wilhelm Klink
MAGENTA: Sgt. Hans Schultz ("I know nothing . . . master.")
COLUMBIA: Cpl. Louis LeBeau
DR. SCOTT: Gen. Burkhalter
ROCKY HORROR: Sgt. Andrew Carter
EDDIE: Maj. Hockstedder
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Cpl. Peter Newkirk

"Three's Company" Cast (come and knock on our door)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Jack Tripper
BRAD MAJORS: Larry Dallas
JANET WEISS: Janet Wood
RIFF & MAGENTA: Stanley and Helen Roper
COLUMBIA: Chrissy Snow
DR. SCOTT: Ralph Furley
ROCKY HORROR: Cindy Snow (clumsy blonde)
EDDIE: E.Z. Taylor (from "Three's a Crowd")
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: James Bradford (from "Three's a Crowd")

"The State" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Thomas Lennon
BRAD MAJORS: Michael Showalter
JANET WEISS: Kerri Kenney
RIFF-RAFF: Michael Ian Black
MAGENTA: Joe Lo Truglio
COLUMBIA: Todd Holoubek
DR. SCOTT: Ben Garant
ROCKY HORROR: Kevin Allison
EDDIE: Ben Garant - Ken Marino
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: David Wain
RALPH: Michael Patrick Jann
BETTY: Thomas Lennon (again!)

"The Blues Brothers" (movie) Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Joliet Jake Blues
BRAD MAJORS: Matt "Guitar" Murphy
JANET WEISS: Soul Food Cafe Owner (Aretha Franklin)
RIFF-RAFF: Elwood Blues
MAGENTA: Mystery Woman (Carrie Fisher)
COLUMBIA: Twiggy
DR. SCOTT: Ray Charles
ROCKY HORROR: Head Nazi (Henry Gibson)
EDDIE: Lou Marini (the sax player)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Burton Mercer (John Candy)
THE TRANSYLVANIANS: James Cleveland's Southern California Community Choir

"Back To The Future" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Doc Brown
BRAD MAJORS: George
JANET WEISS: Lorraine
RIFF-RAFF: Marty
MAGENTA: Jennifer
COLUMBIA: Ms. Clayton (from "Part 3")
DR. SCOTT: Mr. Strickland
ROCKY HORROR: Biff
EDDIE: Uncle Joey
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Doc Brown from the past
THE TRANSYLVANIANS: Huey Lewis and the News

"Into the Woods" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: The Witch
BRAD MAJORS: The Baker
JANET WEISS: Cinderella
RIFF-RAFF: Cinderella's prince
MAGENTA: Little Red Riding Hood
COLUMBIA: Rapunzel (she has the scream)
DR. SCOTT: The Wolf
ROCKY HORROR: Rapunzel's prince
EDDIE: Jack
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: The Narrator

"Degrassi High" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Joey Jeremiah
BRAD MAJORS: Snake
JANET WEISS: Melanie
RIFF-RAFF: Claude
MAGENTA: Lucy
COLUMBIA: Caitlin
DR. SCOTT: Yick
ROCKY HORROR: Wheels
EDDIE: that bully guy who gets AIDS
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Arthur

"Bullwinkle and Friends" Cast (a.k.a "The Rocky and Bullwinkle Horror Picture Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Boris Badenov
BRAD MAJORS: Bullwinkle J. Moose
JANET WEISS: Rocky the Flying Squirrel
RIFF-RAFF: Snidely Whiplash
MAGENTA: Natasha Fatale
COLUMBIA: Nell Fenwick
DR. SCOTT: Mr. Peabody
ROCKY HORROR: Dudley Do-Right
EDDIE: Sherman
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Edward Everett Horton (from "Fractured Fairy Tales")

"The Jetsons" Cast DR.
FRANK-N-FURTER: George Jetson
BRAD MAJORS: his boy Elroy
JANET WEISS: Jane, his wife
RIFF-RAFF: Astro
MAGENTA: Rosie
COLUMBIA: daughter Judy
DR. SCOTT: Mr. Spacely
ROCKY HORROR: Nimbus the Great ("space magic!")
EDDIE: Orbitty (from later episodes)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Mr. Cogswell

"Popeye" Cast ("The Popeye Horror Picture Show')
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Brutus / Bluto (even his NAME goes both ways)
BRAD MAJORS: Popeye
JANET WEISS: Olive Oyle
RIFF-RAFF: Rough House
MAGENTA: Sea Hag
COLUMBIA: Alice the Goon
DR. SCOTT: J. Wellington Wimpy
ROCKY HORROR: Swee'pea
EDDIE: Eugene the Jeep
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Poopdeck Pappy

"Batman" ('60s TV Version) Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: The Joker
BRAD MAJORS: Bruce Wayne / Batman
JANET WEISS: Barbara Gordon / Batgirl
RIFF-RAFF: Alfred the Butler
MAGENTA: Aunt Harriet
COLUMBIA: Catwoman
DR. SCOTT: King Tut
ROCKY HORROR: Police Commisioner Gordon
EDDIE: Dick Grayson / Robin
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: William Dozier, the narrator ("Same Bat-Time! Same Bat-Channel!")
THE TRANSYLVANIANS: Penguin, Riddler, Egg Head, Mr. Freeze, the Siren, Lola Lasagne, Chandel, Lord Mamaduke Ffogg, etc.

"Confederacy of Dunces" (the novel) Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Ignatius J. Reilly
BRAD MAJORS: Claude Robichaux
JANET WEISS: Irene Reilly
RIFF-RAFF: Burma Jones
MAGENTA: Miss Trixie
COLUMBIA: Darlene
DR. SCOTT: Patrolman Angelo Mancuso
ROCKY HORROR: Dorian Greene
EDDIE: George (the teenager)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Gus Levy

"A Clockwork Orange" (book / film) Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Alex
BRAD & JANET: Alex's Pee and Em
RIFF-RAFF: Georgie
MAGENTA & COLUMBIA: the two girls Alex picks up at the record store
DR. SCOTT: Deltoid
ROCKY HORROR: Dim
EDDIE: Billyboy
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Your Humble Narrator (Alex)

"L.A. Law" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Arnie Becker
BRAD MAJORS: Michael Kuzak
JANET WEISS: Grace Van Owen
RIFF-RAFF: Stuart Markowitz
MAGENTA: Ann Kelsey
COLUMBIA: Roxanne Melman
DR. SCOTT: Douglas Brackman, Jr.
ROCKY HORROR: Victor Sifuentes
EDDIE: Benny Stulwicz
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Leland McKenzie

Characters From Kiddie Shows Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Barney ("Master, dinner is prepared" "Stuuuuupendous!")
BRAD MAJORS: Captain Kangaroo
JANET WEISS: Lamb Chop
RIFF-RAFF: X The Owl (from "Mr. Rogers")
MAGENTA: Lady Elaine Fairchild (from "Mr. Rogers")
COLUMBIA: Baby Bop (from "Barney")
DR. SCOTT: Mr. McFeely (from "Mr. Rogers")
ROCKY HORROR: Mr. Green Jeans (from "Mr. Rogers")
EDDIE: B.J. (from "Barney")
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Mr. Rogers

Melissa's Pets Cast (with some of her friends pets)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Ita (a parrot...obnoxious and colorful)
BRAD MAJORS: Gizmo (a cat that lives with Shelby)
JANET WEISS: Shelby (a big, sweet dog)
RIFF-RAFF: Kitty (yet another cat of my four...Velvet's sex partner brother)
MAGENTA: Velvet (my black cat)
COLUMBIA: Cassie (another cat of mine with a high pitched meow)
DR. SCOTT: Buddy (has an idiotic look on his face like Dr. Scott's in the end. My dog.)
ROCKY HORROR: Cooper (another demented dog...kinda like Buddy)
EDDIE: Ho (my friend's Chia Pet)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: T.J. (my oldest cat...looks after the others)

TV and Cartoon Animals Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Garfield
BRAD MAJORS: Dreyfuss ("Empty Nest")
JANET WEISS: Lassie
RIFF-RAFF: Murray ("Mad About You")
MAGENTA: Rita ("Animaniacs"...she didn't fit on my list but she was my second choice for the part)
COLUMBIA: Juan Valdez' donkey (get it?)
DR. SCOTT: Comet ("Full House")
ROCKY HORROR: Marcel ("Friends"...Ross' monkey)
EDDIE: Eddie ("Fraiser")
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Mr. Ed

"Little Mermaid" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Ursula
BRAD MAJORS: Sebastian
JANET WEISS: Ariel
RIFF-RAFF: Jetsam (eel)
MAGENTA: Flotsam (eel)
COLUMBIA: Flounder
DR. SCOTT: King Triton
ROCKY HORROR: Eric
EDDIE: Eric's dog
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Scuttle
TRANSYLVANIANS: Ariel's sisters

"Aladdin" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: The Genie
BRAD MAJORS: Aladdin
JANET WEISS: Jasmine
RIFF-RAFF: Jafar
MAGENTA: Iago (couldn't you just see him yelling "Ven shall ve vreturn to Transylvania, huh?")
COLUMBIA: Abu
DR. SCOTT: The Sultan
ROCKY HORROR: Aladdin in a dual role as his alter ego...Prince Ali Ababwa
EDDIE: Rajah
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: That market place guy in the beginning who sings "Arabian Nights"
TRANSYLVANIANS: People in the market place

That *other* "Rocky" (1-5) Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Apollo Creed
BRAD MAJORS: Rocky Balboa
JANET WEISS: Adrian
RIFF-RAFF: Ivan Drago ("Rocky IV")
MAGENTA: Ludmilla ("Rocky IV")
COLUMBIA: Little Nell in a strange crossover role
DR. SCOTT: Mickey
ROCKY HORROR: Clubber Lang ("Rocky III")
EDDIE: Tommy Gunn ("Rocky V")
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Pauly

"Animaniacs" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Wakko
BRAD MAJORS: Runt
JANET WEISS: Katie KaBoom
RIFF-RAFF: The Brain
MAGENTA: Slappy the Squirrel
COLUMBIA: Dot
DR. SCOTT: Dr. Scratchensniff
ROCKY HORROR: Pinky
EDDIE: Ralph the security guard
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Yakko

"Facts of Life" Cast (oh, God, I'm gonna be sick...)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Dorothy "Tootie" Ramsey
BRAD MAJORS: Rick Bonner
JANET WEISS: Blair Warner
RIFF-RAFF: Jo Polniaczek
MAGENTA: Natalie Green
COLUMBIA: Molly Parker (played by Molly Ringwald!)
DR. SCOTT: Mrs. Edna Garrett
ROCKY HORROR: George Burnett
EDDIE: Snake Robinson
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Beverly Ann Stickle (Mrs. Garret's replacement)

"Doogie Howser, M.D." Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Dr. Douglas "Doogie" Howser
BRAD MAJORS: Dr. David Howser
JANET WEISS: Katherine Howser
RIFF-RAFF: Vinnie Delpino
MAGENTA: Janine Stewart
COLUMBIA: Wanda Plenn
DR. SCOTT: Dr. Benjamin Canfield
ROCKY HORROR: Dr. Jack McGuire
EDDIE: Raymond (the orderly)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Doogie's computer

"Pee-Wee's Playhouse" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Pee-Wee Herman
BRAD MAJORS: Pterry
JANET WEISS: Miss Yvonne
RIFF-RAFF: the cowboy
MAGENTA: Penny
COLUMBIA: Chairy
DR. SCOTT: The King of Cartoons
ROCKY HORROR: Foil Ball
EDDIE: The mail carrier lady
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Jambee
TRIXIE: Cyndi Lauper (she sang the theme-song)

"Married...With Children" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Al Bundy
BRAD MAJORS: Steve Rhoades (Marcy's ex)
JANET WEISS: Marcy D'Arcy
RIFF-RAFF: Jefferson
MAGENTA: Peg Bundy
COLUMBIA: Kelly Bundy
DR. SCOTT: Seven (that cousin they adopted. He's smarter than all of 'em.)
ROCKY HORROR: Bud Bundy
EDDIE: one of Kelly's boyfriends
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Buck Bundy (hey, he thinks out loud)

"The Schlocky Horror Picture Show" Cast (based on the CRACKED satire of RHPS)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Dr. Ham N. Burger
BRAD & JANET: Rocky Balboa and Adrian (from "Rocky")
RIFF-RAFF: Chuckie (from the "Child's Play" movies) -- he's referred to as "Igor" in the satire
MAGENTA & COLUMBIA: only seen as background characters in the satire
DR. SCOTT: Mick (from the "Rocky" movies)
DR. SCOTT (at the end of the movie): Mr. Spock (from "Star Trek')
ROCKY HORROR: Arnold Schwarzenegger
EDDIE & THE CRIMINOLOGIST: aren't in the satire
CAMEO APPEARANCES: Rocky & Bullwinkle, King Kong, the Frankenstein monster, the Bride of Frankenstein, Joan Crawford, Judy Garland

Neil Simon's "Murder By Death" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Lionel Twain
BRAD MAJORS: Dick & Dora Charleston
RIFF-RAFF: the blind butler
MAGENTA: the deaf cook
COLUMBIA: Tess (Sam Diamond's assistant)
DR. SCOTT: Sidney Wang
ROCKY HORROR: Sidney's adopted son
EDDIE: Sam Diamond
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Monsieur Perrier

Possible Ancestors of "RHPS" Characters Cast (My Opinion Only)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Dr. Frankenstein + Joan Crawford
BRAD & JANET: the innocent couples victimized in countless horror films
RIFF-RAFF: Igor / Renfield
MAGENTA: The Bride of Frankenstein + Natasha (from "Rocky & Bullwinkle")
COLUMBIA: Betty Boop
DR. SCOTT: Dr. Strangelove
ROCKY HORROR: Steve Reeves as Hercules
EDDIE: '50s rebels (Brando, Dean, etc.)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Sir Kenneth Clark + Criswell

The Cast We'd Likely See if Hollywood Re-Casted "RHPS" in 1995
(Complete With Typical Hollywood Reasoning Behind Casting Ideas) (First off, we've got to lose that title. It's too long. How about something with "Night" in the title? "Creatures of the Night"? Still too long. How about "Night Creatures"? Beautiful.)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Mel Gibson (but he's not bi this time; he just dresses up as a woman, but he's secure in his masculinity; Gibson can pull this off, believe me)
BRAD MAJORS: Kevin Costner (this time, though, he's more rugged, more confident. He's got some backbone, you know? You're rooting *for* him.)
JANET WEISS: Michelle Pfeiffer (sultry but not slutty, you know what I mean? She's big with the 18-34 male target audience, too.)
RIFF-RAFF: Tom Cruise (he played a vampire, he can play a hunchback. Will he take the supporting role? If not, tell him we'll beef up the part.)
MAGENTA: Cindy Crawford (can she handle the accent? Who cares! She's Cindy! We just won't give her much dialogue. We'll ditch the incest angle, too. Incest won't play in Peoria.)
COLUMBIA: Julia Roberts (cute, but with an air of sensuality -- we'll get a body double for the "bare nipple" scene. Heck, lose the "bare nipple" scene. With the right changes, we could snag a PG-13 rating -- maybe even PG. We could get a Burger King tie-in.)
DR. SCOTT: Jim Carrey (we'll get him in the wheelchair, he'll do a funny voice, make some funny faces -- it can't miss)
ROCKY HORROR: Sylvester Stallone (unlike Ah-nold, Stallone's last flick didn't bomb. A pregnant man? Give me a break, Arnie. Anyway, Stallone's our man for sure. He played one Rocky, he can play another Rocky.)
EDDIE: Christian Slater (he's young, he's rebellious. He can't sing? Who's singing? We're ditching all the musical numbers anyway. Musicals don't sell anymore, except animated ones.)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: We need someone dignified, mature...I got it -- Tim Conway (he isn't dead, is he? If he is, look up Don Knotts.)
DIRECTOR: Steven Spielberg (we'll make this a popcorn movie. Big special effects, big everything. But Steven's a family man. We'll lose the sex scenes. Heck, the action will be so big we don't *need* sex.)
PROJECTED BUDGET: $75 million
PROJECTED GROSS (realistically): $1.75 million (we'll make the money back from cable, the video rentals, and the overseas market. Maybe it'll play in France.)

"Reservoir Dogs" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Mister White
BRAD MAJORS: Mister Orange
JANET WEISS: Marvin the cop
RIFF-RAFF: Mister Pink
MAGENTA: Mister Blue
COLUMBIA: Mister Brown
DR. SCOTT: Joe
ROCKY HORROR: Mr. Blonde
EDDIE: Nice Guy Eddie
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: The K-Billy D.J. (Steven Wright)

"Mister Roger's Neighborhood" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Lady Elaine Fairchild
BRAD MAJORS: Daniel Striped Tige
r JANET WEISS: Lady Aberlin
RIFF-RAFF: King Friday XIII
MAGENTA: Queen Sarah
COLUMBIA: Henrietta Cat
DR. SCOTT: Cornflake S. Pecially
ROCKY HORROR: X the Owl
EDDIE: Mr. McFeely
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Mr. Rogers

"Strawberry Shortcake" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Apple Dumplin'
BRAD MAJORS: Huckleberry Pie
JANET WEISS: Strawberry Shortcake
RIFF-RAFF: The Peculiar Purple Pieman
MAGENTA: Sour Grapes
COLUMBIA: Blueberry Muffin
DR. SCOTT: Plum Puddin'
ROCKY HORROR: Orange Blossom
EDDIE: Apricot
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: The Sun (narrator)
RALPH & BETTY: Lem & Ada
THE TRANSYLVANIANS: The Berrykins

"MST3K" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Joel
BRAD MAJORS: Tom Servo
JANET WEISS: Crow
RIFF-RAFF: Torgo
MAGENTA: Gypsy
COLUMBIA: Cambot
DR. SCOTT: Dr. Forrester
ROCKY HORROR: Gamera
EDDIE: Frank
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Mike (a Joel-like person)

"Family Ties" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Alex P. Keaton
BRAD MAJORS: Steven Keaton
JANET WEISS: Elyse Keaton
RIFF-RAFF: Nick Moore
MAGENTA: Mallory Keaton
COLUMBIA: Jennifer Keaton
DR. SCOTT: that alcoholic uncle played by Tom Hanks
ROCKY HORROR: Andrew Keaton
EDDIE: Skippy Handleman
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Ellen Reed

"Roseanne" Cast (a.k.a "The Rosie Horror Picture Show")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Rosanne
BRAD & JANET: Mark & Becky
RIFF-RAFF: Dan
MAGENTA: Darlene
COLUMBIA: Jackie
DR. SCOTT: Leon (Martin Mull)
ROCKY HORROR: D.J
EDDIE: David
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Roseanne's mother

Song Title Cast
|DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: "Dude Looks Like a Lady"
BRAD MAJORS: "Asshole" (by Dennis Leary)
JANET WEISS: "Like a Virgin"
RIFF-RAFF: "My Boyfriend's Back" (get it...hunch back)
MAGENTA: "Clean Up Woman" (a Betty Wright hit from 1972)
COLUMBIA: "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"
DR. SCOTT: "Proud Mary" (rollin' on the river) or "Heart Like a Wheel" or "This is the Way We Roll"
ROCKY HORROR: "The Monster Mash"
EDDIE: "He's a Rebel"
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: "You Talk Too Much"

"Pulp Fiction" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Marsallis
BRAD MAJORS: Ringo
JANET WEISS: Ringo's wife (Amanda Plummer)
RIFF-RAFF: Vincent (John Travolta)
MAGENTA: Mia (Uma Thurman)
COLUMBIA: Fabienne
DR. SCOTT: Winston Wolf (Harvey Keitel)
ROCKY HORROR: Antonio Roccamoro
EDDIE: Butch (Bruce Willis)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Jules (Samuel L. Jackson)

"Grease" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Rizzo (she's the only one with enough spunk to pull it off)
BRAD MAJORS: Danny
JANET WEISS: Sandy
RIFF-RAFF: Keniecke
MAGENTA: Marty
COLUMBIA: Frenchy
DR. SCOTT: the old guy who judged at the dance contest (a teacher)
ROCKY HORROR: Teen Angel
EDDIE: The bad guy leader (looked like a snake and lost the race)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Vince Fontaine

"The Ronnie Horror Show" Cast (based on the 1980 "Fridays" skit)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Ronald Reagan impersonator (John Roarke)
BRAD MAJORS: Brad Minor played by Michael "Kramer" Richards
JANET: Melanie Chartoff (in the satire, Brad and Janet are young liberals on their way to an anti-nuke rally)
Standard MAGENTA & COLUMBIA impersonators
RIFF-RAFF: George Bush impersonator with long hair
ROCKY HORROR: A black millitant (Darrow Igus)
EDDIE: Richard Nixon impersonator
THE TRANSYLVANIANS: A bunch of old rich people

"Serial Mom" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Bevery Sutphin
BRAD MAJORS: Carl Padgett
JANET WEISS: Carl's Date (played by Traci Lords)
RIFF-RAFF: Chip Sutphin
MAGENTA: Misty Sutphin
COLUMBIA: Birdy
DR. SCOTT: Dr. Eugene Sutphin
ROCKY HORROR: Detective Pike
EDDIE: Scotty
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Detective Gracy
RALPH & BETTY: Ralph and Betty Sturner
THE TRANSYLVANIANS: The Jury

1970's TV Slueths Cast (from various "Mystery Movie" rotation series)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Columbo
BRAD & JANET: McMillan & Wife
RIFF-RAFF: Quincy, M.E. ("Quincy" was briefly part of the "NBC Mystery Movie" series)
MAGENTA: Amy Prentiss (an obscure mid-'70s show)
COLUMBIA: Mrs. Columbo (a.k.a. Kate Callahan)
DR. SCOTT: Ironsides
ROCKY HORROR: Banacek
EDDIE: McCloud
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Nero Wolfe

"The Jeffersons" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: George Jefferson
BRAD MAJORS: Tom Willis
JANET WEISS: Helen Willis
RIFF-RAFF: Harry Bentley
MAGENTA: Florence Johnston
COLUMBIA: Louise Jefferson
DR. SCOTT: Mother Olivia Jefferson
ROCKY HORROR: Allan Willis
EDDIE: Marcus Garvey
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Ralph the Doorman
RALPH & BETTY: Lionel & Jenny Willis (hey, they got divorced, too!)

"Mork & Mindy" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Mork
BRAD MAJORS: Nelson Flavor
JANET WEISS: Mindy McConnell
RIFF-RAFF: Frederick McConnell
MAGENTA: Cora Hudson
COLUMBIA: Crissy Comstock
DR. SCOTT: Franklin Delano Bickley
ROCKY HORROR: Mearth
EDDIE: Exidor
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Orson

If "RHPS" Characters Were Holidays... Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Mother's Day
BRAD MAJORS: Flag Day
JANET WEISS: Valentine's Day
RIFF-RAFF: Labor Day
MAGENTA: Halloween
COLUMBIA: Christmas
DR. SCOTT: Thanksgiving
ROCKY HORROR: Charles Atlas' birthday
EDDIE: Devil's Night
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Guy Falkes Day

Disco Rocky Horror Cast: Characters and Personal Theme Songs
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Sylvester (disco drag queen from the 70's) doing "(You Make Me Feel) Mighty Real"
BRAD MAJORS: Andy Gibb (Bee Gees) "You Should Be Dancing" (Bee Gees)
JANET WEISS: Anita Ward "Ring My Bell"
RIFF-RAFF: Michael Jackson "Thriller"
MAGENTA: Donna Summer "Bad Girl"
COLUMBIA: Blondie "Heart of Glass"
DR. SCOTT: Maurice Gibb (Bee Gees) - Brad's long lost soul brother Song: "YMCA" (Villiage People) Like when he dances in the wheelchair
ROCKY HORROR: One of the Village People "Macho Macho Man"
EDDIE: John Travolta "Stayin' Alive" (Bee Gees)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Kool of Kool and the Gang "Celebration" (during the Time Warp)
TRANSYLVANIANS: The Gang

Hippie Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Jim Morrison
BRAD MAJORS: John Lennon
JANET WEISS: Yoko Ono
RIFF-RAFF: Bob Dylan
MAGENTA: Janis Joplin
COLUMBIA: Joan Baez
DR. SCOTT: Arlo Guthrie
ROCKY HORROR: Donovan
EDDIE: Jimi Hendrix
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Abbie Hoffman
THE TRANSYLVANIANS: Woodstock extras

New Queer Celebrity Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: k.d. lang
BRAD MAJORS: Luke Sissyfag (ACT-UP)
JANET WEISS: Madonna
RIFF-RAFF: Boy George
MAGENTA: Melissa Etheridge
COLUMBIA: MeShell NdegeOcello
DR. SCOTT: Martina Navratalova
ROCKY HORROR: Greg Louganis
EDDIE: Amy Ray (Indigo Girls)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Queen Latifah

"60 Minutes" Cast (past and present)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Mike Wallace
BRAD MAJORS: Steve Kroft
JANET WEISS: Leslie Stahl
RIFF-RAFF: Ed Bradley
MAGENTA: Diane Sawyer
COLUMBIA: Meredith Viera
DR. SCOTT: Harry Reasoner
ROCKY HORROR: Dan Rather E
DDIE: Morley Safer
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Andy Rooney

"Dave's World" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Kenny
BRAD MAJORS: Dave
JANET WEISS: Beth
RIFF-RAFF: Tommy
MAGENTA: Julie (Beth's sister)
COLUMBIA: Mia
DR. SCOTT: Shel
ROCKY HORROR: Eric (that dumb guy Mia dates)
EDDIE: Willy
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Beth's mom

"Mad About You" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Ira
BRAD MAJORS: Paul
JANET WEISS: Jamie
RIFF-RAFF: Ursula (the ditzy waitress)
MAGENTA: Fran
COLUMBIA: Lisa
DR. SCOTT: Teri Stemple (Jamie's mother)
ROCKY HORROR: Murray
EDDIE: Mark (Fran's ex)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Burt Buchman (Paul's father)

"The Breakfast Club" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Judd Nelson (Bender)
BRAD MAJORS: Anthony Michael Hall
JANET WEISS: the unnamed girl from Canada (a possible substitute Janet would be A.M. Hall's sister)
RIFF-RAFF: the janitor
MAGENTA: Ally Sheedy
COLUMBIA: Molly Ringwald (Claire)
DR. SCOTT: Dick (the teacher)
ROCKY HORROR: Emilio Estevez (Sporto)
EDDIE: the guy who got his buns taped together
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Ally's shrink
THE TRANSYLVANIANS: Cheerleaders / football players in drag

Dr. Demento Cast (all time novelty song favorites)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: "Weird Al" Yankovic
BRAD & JANET: Barnes & Barnes
RIFF-RAFF & MAGNETA: Homer & Jethro
COLUMBIA: Julie Brown
DR. SCOTT: Tom Lehrer
ROCKY HORROR: "Classy" Freddie Blassie
EDDIE: Allan Sherman
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Dr. Demento
TRANSYLVANIANS: Spike Jones & His City City Slickers

Winnie the Pooh Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Winnie the Pooh
BRAD MAJORS: Roo
JANET WEISS: Kanga
RIFF-RAFF: Tigger
MAGENTA: Gopher
COLUMBIA: Piglet
DR. SCOTT: Owl
ROCKY HORROR: Rabbit
EDDIE: Eeyore
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Christopher Robin

"Head of the Class" Cast (using original cast members ONLY)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Charlie Moore
BRAD MAJORS: Arvid Engen
JANET WEISS: Darlene Merriman
RIFF-RAFF: Dennis Blunden
MAGENTA: Maria Borges
COLUMBIA: Simone Foster
DR. SCOTT: Jawarhalal Choudhury
ROCKY HORROR: Alan Pinkard
EDDIE: Eric Mardian
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Dr. Harold Samuels

"In Living Color" Cast
[NOTE: The skit would go like this: a naive young white couple (Carrey & Coffield) break down and find themselves in a ghetto full of cross-dressing black aliens.]
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Damon Wayans
BRAD MAJORS: Jim Carrey
JANET WEISS: Kelly Coffield
RIFF-RAFF: David Alan Grier
MAGENTA: Kim Wayans
COLUMBIA: T'Keyah "Crystal" Keymah
DR. SCOTT: Tommy Davidson
ROCKY HORROR: Steve Park
EDDIE: Shawn "SW1" Wayans
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Keenan Ivory Wayans
THE TRANSYLVANIANS: The Fly Girls

"Dallas" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: John Ross (J.R.) Ewing, Jr.
BRAD MAJORS: Bobby Ewing
JANET WEISS: Pamela Ewing
RIFF-RAFF: Cliff Barnes
MAGENTA: Sue Ellen Ewing
COLUMBIA: Lucy Ewing Cooper
DR. SCOTT: Elanor Southworth (Miss Ellie)
ROCKY HORROR: Gary Ewing
EDDIE: Jon Ross (J.R.'s son)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: John Ross (Jock) Ewing

1995 "Saturday Night Live" Cast (boo! hiss!) (a.k.a. The Really Horrible Comedy Show)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Chris Farley
BRAD MAJORS: Tim Meadows
JANET WEISS: Ellen Cleghorne
RIFF-RAFF: David Spade
MAGENTA: Molly Shannon
COLUMBIA: Laura Kightlinger
DR. SCOTT: Michael McKean
ROCKY HORROR: Adam Sandler
EDDIE: Chris Elliot
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Norm McDonald

"The Cosby Show" Cast (a.k.a. '"The Cosby Horror Cosby Picture Cosby Show with Bill Cosby")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable
BRAD MAJORS: Elvin Thibideaux
JANET WEISS: Sondra Huxtable Thibideaux
RIFF-RAFF: Theodore "Theo" Huxtable
MAGENTA: Vanessa Huxtable
COLUMBIA: Rudy Huxtable
DR. SCOTT: Russel Huxtable
ROCKY HORROR: Kenny ("Bud")
EDDIE: Cockroach
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Clair Huxtable
RALPH: Lt. Martin Kendall
BETTY: Denise Huxtable Kendall

"Punky Brewster" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Punky Brewster
BRAD MAJORS: Brandon ...uh, I don't really feel like going on with this list. Next!

"All in the Family" / "Archie Bunker's Place" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Archie Bunker
BRAD MAJORS: Mike "Meathead" Stivic
JANET WEISS: Gloria Bunker Stivic
RIFF-RAFF: George Jefferson
MAGENTA: Ellen Canby
COLUMBIA: Edith "Dingbat" Bunker
DR. SCOTT: Gary Rabinowitz
ROCKY HORROR: Joey Stivic
EDDIE: Lionel Jefferson
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Murray Klein

"Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" Cast (based on bad 1978 film with the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Dr. Maxwell Edison
BRAD MAJORS: Billy Shears
JANET WEISS: Strawberry Fields
RIFF-RAFF: Mean Mr. Mustard
MAGENTA & COLUMBIA: The Computerettes
DR. SCOTT: Father Sun
ROCKY HORROR: Mark Henderson
EDDIE: Dougie Shears
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Mr. Kite

"Leave It To Beaver" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver
BRAD MAJORS: Wally Cleaver
JANET WEISS: Mary Ellen Rogers
RIFF-RAFF: Eddie Haskel
MAGENTA: June Cleaver
COLUMBIA: Miss Canfield
DR. SCOTT: Ward Cleaver
ROCKY HORROR: Clarence "Lumpy" Rutherford
EDDIE: Larry Mondello
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Mr. Fred Rutherford

"Perfect Strangers" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Balki Bartokomous
BRAD MAJORS: Larry Appleton
JANET WEISS: Jennifer
RIFF-RAFF: Mr. Sam Gorpley
MAGENTA: Harriet Winslow
COLUMBIA: Mary Anne
DR. SCOTT: Mr. Twikacetti
ROCKY HORROR: Tess Holland
EDDIE: Edwina Twinkacetti
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Mr. Wainwright

"F Troop" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Sgt. Morgan O'Rourke
BRAD MAJORS: Capt. Wilton Parmenter
JANET WEISS: Wrangler Jane
RIFF-RAFF: Cpl. Randolph Agarn
MAGENTA: Trooper Duffy
COLUMBIA: Trooper Vanderbilt
DR. SCOTT: Chief Wild Eagle
ROCKY HORROR: Sgt. Ramsden (Paul Lynde)
EDDIE: Crazy Cat
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Bugler Hannibal Dobbs

"I Love Lucy" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Lucy Ricardo
BRAD MAJORS: Ricky Ricardo
JANET WEISS: Caroline Appleby (Lucy's snooty friend)
RIFF-RAFF: Fred Mertz
MAGENTA: Ethel Mertz
COLUMBIA: Mrs. Magillicuddy
DR. SCOTT: Jerry, the agent
ROCKY HORROR: Little Ricky Ricardo
EDDIE: Harpo Marx (guest star)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: John Wayne (gues star)
RALPH & BETTY HAPSCHATT: Ralph & Betty Ramsey

"The Munsters" Cast [NOTE: There aren't too many "Munsters" characters, so I had to stretch things a bit.]
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Grandpa Munster
BRAD MAJORS: Herman Munster
JANET WEISS: Lily Munster
RIFF-RAFF: Gateman*
MAGENTA: Marilyn Munster #1 (Bevery Owen)
COLUMBIA: Marilyn Munster #2 (Pat Priest)
DR. SCOTT: Goodbury*
ROCKY HORROR: Spot the Dragon
EDDIE: Eddie Munster
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Graves* *Herman worked for the funeral home of Gateman, Goodbury & Graves

"Dynasty" Cast [NOTE: I've never actually watched an episode of "Dynasty." I got the character names out of a TV trivia book.] DR.
FRANK-N-FURTER: Alexis Carrington Colby
BRAD MAJORS: Blake Carrington
JANET WEISS: Krystal Carrington
RIFF-RAFF: Michael Culhane
MAGENTA: Lindsay Blaisdel
COLUMBIA: Fallon Carrington Colby
DR. SCOTT: Jeremy Van Dorn
ROCKY HORROR: Steven Carrington
EDDIE: Clay Falmont
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Father Tanner McBride

"The Smurfs" Cast (I apologize in advance for this list)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Vanity Smurf
BRAD MAJORS: Brainy Smurf
JANET WEISS: Smurfette
RIFF-RAFF: Gargamel
MAGENTA: Grouchy Smurf
COLUMBIA: Sassette (a Smurfling)
DR. SCOTT: Papa Smurf
ROCKY HORROR: Clockwork Smurf
EDDIE: Hefty Smurf
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Poet Smurf

"Lost In Space" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Dr. Zachary Smith
BRAD MAJORS: Prof. John Robinson
JANET WEISS: Maureen Robinson
RIFF-RAFF: Will Robinson
MAGENTA: Judy Robinson
COLUMBIA: Penny Robinson
DR. SCOTT / EDDIE: Maj. Don West
ROCKY HORROR: The Robot
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: a strange alien with no neck

"In Living Color" Recurring Characters Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Antoine Merriweather
BRAD MAJORS: Blaine
JANET WEISS: The black and white lady
RIFF-RAFF: Homey the Clown
MAGENTA: Mama (the lady that runs the diner)
COLUMBIA: A Fly Girl
DR. SCOTT: Fire Marshall Bill
ROCKY HORROR: Mr. Buttman
EDDIE: Anton the homeless man
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Keenan Ivory Wayans

"Ferris Bueller's Day Off" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Mr. Rooney
BRAD MAJORS: Ferris
JANET WEISS: Sloane
RIFF-RAFF: the maitre'd at Chez Quis
MAGENTA: the secretary (Edie McClurg's part)
COLUMBIA: Jeannie
DR. SCOTT: the boring teacher (anyone, anyone)
ROCKY HORROR: Cameron
EDDIE: Charlie Sheen's character
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Mr. Bueller

Bubble Gum Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Juicy Fruit
BRAD MAJORS: Hubba Bubba
JANET WEISS: Chicklets
RIFF-RAFF: Mint-a-burst
MAGENTA: Care-Free
COLUMBIA: Bubble Yum
DR. SCOTT: Bubble Tape (the container can roll, too)
ROCKY HORROR: Big League Chew
EDDIE: Cinn-a-burst
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Extra (he can talk an extra, extra, extra long time...)

If "RHPS" Characters Were Countries...Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: France
BRAD MAJORS: Canada
JANET WEISS: Holland
RIFF-RAFF: Iran
MAGENTA: Bulgaria
COLUMBIA: Columbia (duh!)
DR. SCOTT: Germany
ROCKY HORROR: Austria
EDDIE: The United States of America (Yee-ha!)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: England

V.C. Andrews' "Ruby" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Gisselle
BRAD MAJORS: Paul
JANET WEISS: Ruby
RIFF-RAFF: Pierre
MAGENTA: Nina
COLUMBIA: Daphne
DR. SCOTT: Jean R
OCKY HORROR: Beau
EDDIE: Bruce
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: V.C. Andrews' ghostwriter

V.C. Andrews' Cutler Series ("Dawn") Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Fern
BRAD MAJORS: Jimmy
JANET WEISS: Dawn
RIFF-RAFF: Phillip
MAGENTA: Trisha
COLUMBIA: Clara Sue
DR. SCOTT: Michael Sutton
ROCKY HORROR: Gavin
EDDIE: Jefferson
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: V.C. from the grave

V.C. Andrews' Casteel Series ("Heaven") Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Tony
BRAD MAJORS: Logan
JANET WEISS: Heaven
RIFF-RAFF: Keith
MAGENTA: Fanny
COLUMBIA: Our Jane (they called her that in the book)
DR. SCOTT: Annie (she's in a wheelchair)
ROCKY HORROR: Troy
EDDIE: Drake
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: V.C. from the grave

V.C. Andrews' Dollanganger ("Flowers in the Attic") Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: The grandmother (Olivia)
BRAD MAJORS: Cory
JANET WEISS: Carrie
RIFF-RAFF: Chris
MAGENTA: Cathy (oh, the incest!)
COLUMBIA: Corrine (the mother)
DR. SCOTT: Malcolm
ROCKY HORROR: Julian
EDDIE: Bart
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: V.C. from the grave

V.C. Andrews' "My Sweet Audrina" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Papa (Damian)
BRAD MAJORS: Arden
JANET WEISS: Audrina
RIFF-RAFF: Sylvia
MAGENTA: Aunt Ellsbeth
COLUMBIA: Vera
DR. SCOTT: Billie (she has no legs)
ROCKY HORROR: the first Audrina (she's perfect)
EDDIE: one of the boys who rapes the first Audrina
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: V.C. from the grave

If "RHPS" Characters Were Game Shows...Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Let's Make a Deal (everyone dresses in weird costumes for the show)
BRAD MAJORS: Family Feud (well, in "Shock Treatment" he gets in a family feud)
JANET WEISS: The Price Is Right
RIFF-RAFF: Wheel of Fortune (he has to crank that wheel thingy to bring Rocky to life)
MAGENTA: Supermarket Sweep (get it? sweep? she's a maid)
COLUMBIA: Joker's Wild
DR. SCOTT: High Rollers
ROCKY HORROR: Jeopardy (you need a brain to play, and at least Rocky's got half a brain)
EDDIE: Double Dare
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: I'm Telling (a kid's game show from the '80s)

"I Dream of Jeannie" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Jeannie
BRAD MAJORS: Major Tony Nelson
JANET WEISS: Melissa Stone (Maj. Nelson's old girlfriend)
RIFF-RAFF: Roger Healey
MAGENTA: Jeannie II (Jeannie's evil twin)
COLUMBIA: Amanda Bellows
DR. SCOTT: Dr. Alfred Bellows
ROCKY HORROR: Gen. Wingard Stone
EDDIE: Gen. Winfield Schaeffer
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Gen. Martin Peterson

"Monty Python & the Holy Grail" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: King Arthur
BRAD MAJORS: Sir Galahad
JANET WEISS: Zoot
RIFF-RAFF: Patsy
MAGENTA: Piglet
COLUMBIA: Winston
DR. SCOTT: Sir Bedevere
ROCKY HORROR: Sir Robin
EDDIE: Prince Herbert
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Historian

"Monty Python's The Meaning of Life" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Death
BRAD & JANET: the middle-aged American tourists RIFF-RAFF: the sex education teacher
MAGENTA: the sex education teacher's wife (who was ALSO played by Pat Quinn!)
COLUMBIA: Mrs. Brown
DR. SCOTT: Mr. Creosote
ROCKY HORROR: Arthur Jarrett
EDDIE: the distinguished gentleman in the pink tuxedo
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: The "Middle of the Film" Woman
THE TRANSYLVANIANS: The Crimson Permanent Assurance

"Monty Python's Life of Brian" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Stan (a.k.a. Loretta)
BRAD MAJORS: Brian of Nazareth
JANET WEISS: Judith RIFF-RAFF: The deaf, mad jailer
MAGENTA: The Virgin Mandy (Brian's mum)
COLUMBIA: the "holy gourd of Jerusalem" woman
DR. SCOTT: Pontius Pilate
ROCKY HORROR: Biggus Dickus
EDDIE: The Macedonean Baby Crusher (who dies of a heart attack)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Reg (leader of the PFJ)

"Spaceballs" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Dark Helmet
BRAD MAJORS: Lone Star
JANET WEISS: Princess Vespa
RIFF-RAFF: Mawg MAGENTA: that droid with Joan Rivers' voice
COLUMBIA: that woman who communicated President Skroob on video monitors
DR. SCOTT: Pizza the Hut
ROCKY HORROR: Prince Valium
EDDIE: Col. Sandurz
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: President Skroob

"The Rutles" / "All You Need Is Cash" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Leggy Mountbatten
BRAD MAJORS: Dirk McQuickly
JANET WEISS: Martini
RIFF-RAFF: Ron Nasty
MAGENTA: Chastity
COLUMBIA: Leggy's mum
DR. SCOTT: Arthur Sultan, the Surry mystic
ROCKY HORROR: Stig O'Hara
EDDIE: Barry Wom
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: the hapless narrator

"The Producers" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Roger De Bris
BRAD MAJORS: Lorenzo St. Du Bois (LSD) / "Adolf Hitler"
JANET WEISS: "Eva Braun"
RIFF-RAFF: Carmen Giya
MAGENTA: Old Lady
COLUMBIA: Ulla
DR. SCOTT: Franz Leibkind
ROCKY HORROR: Drunk In Theater Bar
EDDIE: Leo Bloom
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Max Bialystock

Beatles Song Title Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: "A Hard Day's Night"
BRAD MAJORS: "Nowhere Man"
JANET WEISS: "Twist and Shout"
RIFF-RAFF: "Get Back"
MAGENTA: "Polythene Pam"
COLUMBIA: "You Like Me Too Much"
DR. SCOTT: "Roll Over Beethoven"
ROCKY HORROR: "Rocky Raccoon"
EDDIE: "I'm a Loser"
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: "The Fool on the Hill

"Quiz Show" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Charles Van Doren
BRAD MAJORS: Herb Stempel
JANET WEISS: Mrs. Stempel
RIFF-RAFF: Goodwin
MAGENTA: Goodwin's wife
COLUMBIA: one of Charles Van Doren's female students
DR. SCOTT: Mark Van Doren
ROCKY HORROR: Jack Barry
EDDIE: the guy who asks for Van Doren's autograph
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Dan Enright

"Miami Vice Cast"
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Det. James "Sonny" Crockett
BRAD MAJORS: Det. Ricardo Tubbs
JANET WEISS: Det. Gina Navarro Calabrese
RIFF-RAFF: Izzy Moreno
MAGENTA: Det. Trudy Joplin
COLUMBIA: Caitlin Davis (Sheena Easton)
DR. SCOTT / EDDIE: Lt. Martin Castillo
ROCKY HORROR: Det. Stan Switek
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Det. Larry Zito

"Duck Soup" (starring the Marx Brothers) Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho)
BRAD MAJORS: Bob Roland (Zeppo)
JANET WEISS: Vera Marcal
RIFF-RAFF: Trentino
MAGENTA: Mrs. Teasdale
COLUMBIA: Secretary
DR. SCOTT: Zander
ROCKY HORROR: Pinky (Harpo)
EDDIE: Chicolini (Chico)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: the judge

"Earaserhead" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: The Lady In the Radiator
BRAD MAJORS: Henry Spencer ("Eraserhead")
JANET WEISS: Mary X
RIFF-RAFF: Mr. X
MAGENTA: Mrs. X
COLUMBIA: the beautiful girl across the hall
DR. SCOTT: Grandmother
ROCKY HORROR: the "baby"
EDDIE: the boy who finds Henry's head
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: The Man In the Planet

"Harold and Maude" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Maude
BRAD MAJORS: Harold Chasen
JANET WEISS: Sunshine
RIFF-RAFF: Harold's psychiatrist
MAGENTA: Candy
COLUMBIA: Edith
DR. SCOTT: Uncle Victor
ROCKY HORROR: the sculptor
EDDIE: the motorcycle cop
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Cat Stevens

"Pink Flamingos" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Babs Johnson / Divine
BRAD MAJORS: Crackers
JANET WEISS: Cotton
RIFF-RAFF: Raymond Marble
MAGENTA: Connie Marble
COLUMBIA: Mama Edie
DR. SCOTT: Channing
ROCKY HORROR: Baby Noodles
EDDIE: The Eggman
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: off-screen narrator (John Waters)

"Desperate Living" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Queen Carlotta
BRAD MAJORS: Bosley Gravel
JANET WEISS: Peggy Gravel
RIFF-RAFF: Mole McHenry
MAGENTA: Muffy St. Jacques
COLUMBIA: Grizelda Brown
DR. SCOTT: the motorcycle cop (Turkey Joe)
ROCKY HORROR: Lt. Wilson
EDDIE: Eater (the guy who's executed by the firing squad)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Peggy's shrink

"The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Leatherface
BRAD MAJORS: Kirk
JANET WEISS: Pam
RIFF-RAFF: the hitchhiker
MAGENTA: Patricia Quinn wandering onto the wrong movie set
COLUMBIA: Sally
DR. SCOTT: Franklyn
ROCKY HORROR: the gas station attendant
EDDIE: the truck driver
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Grandfather

Rap Stars Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Dr. Dre
BRAD MAJORS: Vanilla Ice (the ultimate "asshole")
JANET WEISS: M.C. Lyte
RIFF-RAFF: Snoop Doggy Dogg
MAGENTA & COLUMBIA: Salt 'N' Pepa
DR. SCOTT: Chuck D
ROCKY HORROR: Ice-T
EDDIE: 2Pac
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Ol' Dirty Bastard
THE TRANSYLVANIANS: The Wu-Tang Clan

MTV Veejays (past and present) Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Mark Goodman (he's got the hair)
BRAD MAJORS: Alan Hunter
JANET WEISS: Martha Quinn
RIFF-RAFF: Kevin Seal
MAGENTA: Kennedy
COLUMBIA: Daisy Fuentes
DR. SCOTT: Bill Bellamy (?)
ROCKY HORROR: Adam Curry*
EDDIE: Lewis Largent
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Kurt Loder
*I know it would be great to have another "Curry" play Frank, but Adam's just not right for the role

"Psycho" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Norman Bates
BRAD MAJORS: Sam Loomis
JANET WEISS: Marion Crane
RIFF-RAFF: Milton Arborgast
MAGENTA: Lila Crane
COLUMBIA: Mrs. Chambers
DR. SCOTT: Dr. Richmond
ROCKY HORROR: the deputy (played by a young Ted Knight)
EDDIE: Cassidy
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Sherriff Al Chambers

"The Terminator" Cast (mainly from the 1984 original)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: cyborg terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger)
BRAD MAJORS: Kyle Reese
JANET WEISS: Sarah Connor
RIFF-RAFF: T-1000 (from "T2")
MAGENTA: Tarissa Dyson (from "T2")
COLUMBIA: Ginger (Sarah's friend)
DR. SCOTT: Dr. Silberman
ROCKY HORROR: John Connor
EDDIE: Matt (Ginger's boyfriend)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Traxler (the cop)

If "RHPS" Characters Were Speech Team Event... Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: original comedy
BRAD MAJORS: extemporaneous speaking
JANET WEISS: dramatic interpretation
RIFF-RAFF: oratorical declamation
MAGENTA: humorous duet acting
COLUMBIA: humorous interpretation
DR. SCOTT: verse reading
ROCKY HORROR: special occasion speaking
EDDIE: impromptu speaking
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: original oratory
RALPH HAPSCHATT: prose reading
BETTY MUNROE: radio speaking

Authors / Playwrights (Dead or Alive) Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Stephen King
BRAD MAJORS: Sam Shepard
JANET WEISS: V.C. Andrews (innocence and lust combined!)
RIFF-RAFF: John Saul
MAGENTA: Tennessee Williams
COLUMBIA: Sylvia Plath
DR. SCOTT: Dr. Suess
ROCKY HORROR: Michael Crichton
EDDIE: J.D. Salinger
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Bram Stoker

"Alice" (TV Show) Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Florence Jean Castleberry ("Flo")
BRAD MAJORS: Nicholas Stone (Alice's boyfriend)
JANET WEISS: Alice Hyatt
RIFF-RAFF: Mel Sharples
MAGENTA: Jolene Hunnicutt
COLUMBIA: Vera Louise Gorman
DR. SCOTT: Henry
ROCKY HORROR: Tommy Hyatt
EDDIE: Elliot Novak (Vera's husband)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Carrie Sharples (Mel's mother)

If "RHPS" Characters Were Spices... Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Curry (duh!)
BRAD MAJORS: Salt (not technically a spice)
JANET WEISS: Paprika
RIFF-RAFF: Garlic Salt
MAGENTA: Rosemary
COLUMBIA: Cinnamon
DR. SCOTT: Sage
ROCKY HORROR: Pepper
EDDIE: Cloves
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Thyme

Toys From Our Childhood Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Mr. Potato Head
BRAD MAJORS: Ken
JANET WEISS: Barbie (how obvious!)
RIFF-RAFF: A Popple (those things that were shaped weird and folded in and popped out)
MAGENTA: A Cabbage Patch Kid
COLUMBIA: My Little Pony
DR. SCOTT: Robbie the Robot (I *think* he was a toy.)
ROCKY HORROR: My Buddy
EDDIE: A Hugga Bunch Doll
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: A Pillow Person (had no neck either)

"Nightmare Before Christmas" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Oogie Boogie
BRAD MAJORS: Jack Skellington
JANET WEISS: Sally
RIFF-RAFF: Lock
MAGENTA: Shock
COLUMBIA: Barrel
DR. SCOTT: Sally's father
ROCKY HORROR: Mayor
EDDIE: Santa
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Narrator (Patrick Stewart's voice)

"A Chorus Line" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Zack
BRAD MAJORS: Larry
JANET WEISS: Cassie
RIFF-RAFF: Paul
MAGENTA: Morales
COLUMBIA: Val
DR. SCOTT: Richie
ROCKY HORROR: Mark
EDDIE: Al
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Greg

"Speed Racer" Cast ("Here he comes / Here comes Speed Racer...")
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Racer X (a.k.a. Rex Racer, the Masked Racer) ("Science fiction, double feature / Racer X will build a creature")
BRAD MAJORS: Speed Racer
JANET WEISS: Trixie
RIFF-RAFF: Sparky
MAGENTA: Mrs. Racer
COLUMBIA: Chim-Chim
DR. SCOTT: The Mach 5 (hey, it has wheels)
ROCKY HORROR: Spridal
EDDIE: Acey-Duecey
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: The Gambler

Harlem Globetrotters Cast (based on "Harlem Globetrotters" and "Super Globetrotters" cartoon series) DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Meadowlark Lemon BRAD MAJORS: Sweet Lou Dunbar JANET WEISS: Geese Ausbie RIFF-RAFF: Freddie "Curly" Neal MAGENTA: Nate Branch COLUMBIA: Grannie (from "Harlem Globetrotters" series) DR. SCOTT: Dribbles the dog (from "Harlem Globetrotters") ROCKY HORROR: Twiggy Sander EDDIE: Bobby Joe Mason THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Crime Globe (from "Super Globetrotters")

Cable Networks Cast DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: MTV BRAD MAJORS: VH-1 JANET WEISS: The Playboy Channel RIFF-RAFF: The Family Channel (he likes to keep things in the family) MAGENTA: The Food Channel (she's sort of the cook) COLUMBIA: Nickelodeon DR. SCOTT: The Learning Channel ("I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things.") ROCKY HORROR: ESPN EDDIE: The Nashville Network THE CRIMINOLOGIST: The History Channel

roughly 215

"Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" Cast DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Roger Rabbit BRAD MAJORS: Eddie Valiant JANET WEISS: Jessica Rabbit RIFF-RAFF: Judge Doom MAGENTA: Dolores COLUMBIA: Betty Boop DR. SCOTT: Benny the Cab ROCKY HORROR: Baby Herman EDDIE: Singing Sword (voiced by Frank Sinatra) THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Marvin Acme RALPH & BETTY: Mickey and Minnie Mouse THE TRANSYLVANIANS: Popeye, Daffy Duck, Droopy, Porky Pig, Donald Duck, Bugs Bunny, Goofy, Woody Woodpecker, Pinnochio

Old-Time Movie Comedians Cast DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Charlie Chaplin BRAD MAJORS: Oliver Hardy JANET WEISS: Stan Laurel RIFF-RAFF: Moe Howard MAGENTA: Larry Fine COLUMBIA: Mae West DR. SCOTT: Buster Keaton ROCKY HORROR: Curly Howard EDDIE: Harold Lloyd THE CRIMINOLOGIST: W.C. Fields

Movie Critics Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Rex Reed
BRAD MAJORS: Gene Siskel
JANET WEISS: Roger Ebert
RIFF-RAFF: Gene Shalit
MAGENTA: Pauline Kael
COLUMBIA: Dixie Whatley
DR. SCOTT: Michael Medved
ROCKY HORROR: Jeffrey Lyons
EDDIE: Peter Travers
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Leonard Maltin

"A Fish Called Wanda" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Otto West
BRAD MAJORS: Archibald Leach
JANET WEISS: Wanda Gershwitz
RIFF-RAFF: Ken Pile
MAGENTA: Wendy Leach
COLUMBIA: Portia Leach
DR. SCOTT: Judge Knott
ROCKY HORROR: Wanda the fish
EDDIE: George Thomarson
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Eileen Coady

"The Fisher King" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Parry
BRAD MAJORS: Jack Lucas
JANET WEISS: Anne
RIFF-RAFF & MAGENTA: two of Parry's homeless companions
COLUMBIA: Lydia
DR. SCOTT: The Red Knight
ROCKY HORROR: one of the Young Punks
EDDIE: Aging Chorus Boy
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Langdon Carmichael

"Fawlty Towers" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Basil Fawlty
BRAD MAJORS: also Basil Fawlty (as with "The Bob Newhart Show," there's no way to make it work thematically without having the same actor play both Frank and Brad)
JANET WEISS: Sybil Fawlty
RIFF-RAFF: Manuel
MAGENTA: Polly
COLUMBIA: Miss Tibbs
DR. SCOTT: Major Gowen
ROCKY HORROR: Terry
EDDIE: the delivery man (from "The Builders")
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: one of the hotel inspectors

"National Lampoon's Animal House" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Bluto
BRAD MAJORS: Greg Marmalarde
JANET WEISS: Mandy
RIFF-RAFF: Dirk Neidermeier
MAGENTA: Mrs. Wormer
COLUMBIA: Doreen (that underaged girl from the supermarket)
DR. SCOTT: Dean Wormer
ROCKY HORROR: Hoover
EDDIE: D-Day
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Otter

"Press Your Luck" Cast [based on 1980s game show] (you know -- "I want big bucks, no Whammies, and . . . STOP!)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER:"Boy George" Whammy
BRAD, JANET & DR. SCOTT: the three contestants
RIFF-RAFF: Peter Tomarken
MAGENTA: "Diana Ross" Whammy
COLUMBIA: the break-dancing Whammy
ROCKY HORROR: the Whammy lifting dumbells
EDDIE: "Elvis Presley" Whammy
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Rod Roddy

"Hollywood Squares" (1980s version) Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: JM J. Bullock
BRAD MAJORS: John Davidson
JANET WEISS: Joan Rivers
RIFF-RAFF: Richard Simmons
MAGENTA: Dr. Joyce Brothers
COLUMBIA: Carol Channing
DR. SCOTT: Charles Nelson Reilly
ROCKY HORROR: Lorenzo Lamas
EDDIE: ALF
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Shadoe Stevens

Playing Card Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: A Joker
BRAD MAJORS: that card with rules for different card games on it
JANET WEISS: The Queen of Hearts
RIFF-RAFF: The Ace of Spades
MAGENTA: The Queen of Diamonds
COLUMBIA: The Two of Hearts
DR. SCOTT: The Seven of Clubs
ROCKY HORROR: The Jack of Clubs
EDDIE: The Jack of Spades
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: The King of Diamonds (which *are* forever, after all)

Rolling Stones / Rolling Stones-related Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Mick Jagger
BRAD MAJORS: Bill Wyman
JANET WEISS: any of Bill Wyman's ex-wives
RIFF-RAFF: Keith Richards
MAGENTA: Bianca Jagger
COLUMBIA: Jerry Hall
DR. SCOTT: Charlie Watts
ROCKY HORROR: Brian Jones
EDDIE: Ron Wood
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Andrew Loog Oldham

"The State" Recurring Characters Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Barry
BRAD MAJORS: Doug
JANET WEISS: Karen
RIFF-RAFF: Levon
MAGENTA & COLUMBIA: preppy high school cheerleaders (a surprising number of State skits feature cheerleaders)
DR. SCOTT: Capt. Monterrey Jack
ROCKY HORROR: Barry Toink
EDDIE: Louie
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Festus Wilkins (a.k.a. Festus the Clown)

"The Chipmunks" Cast (using characters from 1960s original and 1980s revival)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Alvin
BRAD MAJORS: Simon
JANET WEISS: Brittany
RIFF-RAFF: Theodore
MAGENTA: Elanor
COLUMBIA: Jeannette
DR. SCOTT: Clyde Crashcup
ROCKY HORROR: David Seville
EDDIE: Leonardo
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Grandpa Seville

"Fear of a Black Hat" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Darryl In Charge
BRAD MAJORS: Ice Cold
JANET WEISS: Nina Blackburn
RIFF-RAFF: Tastey Taste
MAGENTA: Cheryl C
COLUMBIA: Tafini
DR. SCOTT: Guy Freisch
ROCKY HORROR: Vanilla Sherbet
EDDIE: Tone Def
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Kurt Loder (he's on a *lot* of these lists, coincidentally)

If "RHPS" Characters Were Tim Curry Movies... Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"
BRAD MAJORS: "Home Alone 2: Lost In New York"
JANET WEISS: "Times Square"
RIFF-RAFF: "Pass the Ammo"
MAGENTA: "The Hunt For Red October" (the accent)
COLUMBIA: "Annie"
DR. SCOTT: "The Ploughman's Lunch" (???)
ROCKY HORROR: "The Shout"
EDDIE: "Congo"
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: "Clue"

Languages Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Itallian
BRAD MAJORS: Norwegian
JANET WEISS: French
RIFF-RAFF: Chinese
MAGENTA: Japanese
COLUMBIA: Spanish
DR. SCOTT: German
ROCKY HORROR: Sign language
EDDIE: Esperanto
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: English

Punctuation Mark Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: question mark
BRAD MAJORS: exclamation mark
JANET WEISS: period
RIFF-RAFF & MAGNETA: brackets
COLUMBIA: comma
DR. SCOTT: semi-colon
ROCKY HORROR: ampersand (that's the "&" symbol)
EDDIE: asterisk
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: quotation marks

Color Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Red
BRAD MAJORS: Beige
JANET WEISS: White
RIFF-RAFF: Green (with envy)
MAGENTA: Magenta (duh!)
COLUMBIA: Hot Pink
DR. SCOTT: Brown (as in "brownnoser")
ROCKY HORROR: Yellow
EDDIE: Black
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Gray (Charles Gray to be exact)

Numbers Between 1 and 10 / Numerology cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: 1 (was there any doubt?)
BRAD MAJORS: 3 (class of '63)
JANET WEISS: 10 (Susan Sarandon's a ten in my book)
RIFF-RAFF: 2 (he's second in command)
MAGENTA: 6 (as in 666)
COLUMBIA: 8 (turn it sideways to see what I mean -- it's even lopsided!)
DR. SCOTT: 4 (four-wheel drive)
ROCKY HORROR: 7 (he's just seven hours old)
EDDIE: 5 (he looks like a refugee from 1955)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: 9 (there are roughly 9,000,000 "no neck" lines)

"Clue" Cast (based on the movie which was based on the board game)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Wadsworth (Tim Curry's role)
BRAD MAJORS: Mr. Green
JANET WEISS: Miss Scarlet
RIFF-RAFF: Colonel Mustard
MAGENTA: Yvette
COLUMBIA: Mrs. Peacock
DR. SCOTT: Professor Plum
ROCKY HORROR: The Cook
EDDIE: Mr. Body
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Mrs. White

"Wayne's World" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Wayne
BRAD MAJORS: Benjamin
JANET WEISS: Cassandra
RIFF-RAFF: Noah
MAGENTA: Noah's wife
COLUMBIA: the beautiful woman
DR. SCOTT: Old Man Withers (you know who I'm talking about... the amusement park guy)
ROCKY HORROR: Garth
EDDIE: the "I love you" guy
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Mr. Big (the record producer)

"Fast Times at Ridgemont High" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Mike
BRAD MAJORS: Rat (Mark)
JANET WEISS: Stacey
RIFF-RAFF: Brad
MAGENTA: Linda
COLUMBIA: A cheerleader
DR. SCOTT: Mr. Hand
ROCKY HORROR: the tough football guy
EDDIE: Jeff

"Pocahontas" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Governor Radcliffe
BRAD MAJORS: John Smith
JANET WEISS: Pocahontas
RIFF-RAFF: Percy
MAGENTA: Meeko
COLUMBIA: Flit
DR. SCOTT: Chief Powahatan
ROCKY HORROR: Thomas
EDDIE: Kocoum
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Grandmother Willow

"Batman Forever" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Two Face / Harvey Dent
BRAD MAJORS: Batman / Bruce Wayne
JANET WEISS: Dr. Chase Meridian
RIFF-RAFF: The Riddler / Edward Nygma
MAGENTA: Spice
COLUMBIA: Sugar
DR. SCOTT: Commisioner Gordon
ROCKY HORROR: Nygma's jerky boss (Ed Begley, Jr.)
EDDIE: Robin / Dick Grayson
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Alfred

"Clerks" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Randal
BRAD MAJORS: Dante Hicks
JANET WEISS: Veronica
RIFF-RAFF: Jay
MAGENTA: Caitlin
COLUMBIA: the milk maid
DR. SCOTT: the old guy who dies in the bathroom
ROCKY HORROR: Silent Bob
EDDIE: Jay's Russian cousin ("Berzerker")
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: the guy searching for the "perfect" carton of eggs

If "RHPS" Characters Were Shoes... Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: High-heeled platform shoes
BRAD MAJORS: Hush Puppies
JANET WEISS: white pumps
RIFF-RAFF: steel-toed boots for kicking
MAGENTA: any damned shoes she wants
COLUMBIA: tap shoes
DR. SCOTT: orthopedic shoes
ROCKY HORROR: tennis shoes
EDDIE: cowboy boots
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: uncomfortable dress shoes

"My Three Sons" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Steve Douglas
BRAD MAJORS: Mike Douglas
JANET WEISS: Sally Douglas
RIFF-RAFF: Chip Douglas
MAGENTA: Barbara Harper Douglas
COLUMBIA: Katie Miller Douglas
DR. SCOTT: Fergus McBain Douglas
ROCKY HORROR: Robbie Douglas
EDDIE: Ernie
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Uncle Bub O'Casey

"Real People" Cast (hey, they did a segment on "RHPS" once)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Skip Stephenson
BRAD MAJORS: Fred Willard
JANET WEISS: Sarah Purcell
RIFF-RAFF: Byron Allen
MAGENTA: wouldja beleive Patricia Quinn in *another* weird crossover appearance?
COLUMBIA: Kerry Merrick
DR. SCOTT: Mark Russel
ROCKY HORROR: Bill Rafferty
EDDIE: Peter Billingsley
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: John Barbour

"Reality Is What You Can Get Away With" Cast (based on Robert Anton Wilson's book)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
BRAD MAJORS: Ignatz
JANET WEISS: Betty
RIFF-RAFF: Peter Lorre
MAGENTA: Shelly McClown
COLUMBIA: Jane Russell
DR. SCOTT: Assassination Buff
ROCKY HORROR: Popeye
EDDIE: Humphrey Bogart
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Ronald Reagan

"The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Dobie Gillis
BRAD MAJORS: Milton Armitage
JANET WEISS: Thalia Meninger
RIFF-RAFF: Herbert T. Gillis
MAGENTA: Winnie Gillis
COLUMBIA: Zelda Gilroy
DR. SCOTT: Mr. Leander Pomfritt
ROCKY HORROR: Maynard G. Krebs
EDDIE: Davey Gillis
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Chatsworth Osborne, Jr.

"Home Improvement" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Tim Taylor
BRAD MAJORS: Brad Taylor
JANET WEISS: Jill Taylor
RIFF-RAFF: Al
MAGENTA: the first "Tool Time" girl, Lisa
COLUMBIA: the second "Tool Time" girl
DR. SCOTT: Wilson
ROCKY HORROR: Mark Taylor
EDDIE: Randy Taylor
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Jill's dad

Howard Stern Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Howard Stern
BRAD MAJORS: Gary Dell'Abate ("Babbabooey")
JANET WEISS: Robin Quivers
RIFF-RAFF: Jackie Martling ("The Joke Man")
MAGENTA & COLUMBIA: two lesbian strippers
DR. SCOTT: Billy West
ROCKY HORROR: John Melendez ("Stuttering John")
EDDIE: The Jackie Puppet
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Fred Norris ("Frightening Fred")

All-Duck Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Daffy Duck
BRAD MAJORS: Donald Duck
JANET WEISS: Daisy Duck
RIFF-RAFF: Duckman
MAGENTA: Count Duckula (in drag)
COLUMBIA: Ernie's Rubber Ducky
DR. SCOTT: Scrooge McDuck
ROCKY HORROR: Baby Huey
EDDIE: Plucky Duck
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Darkwing Duck

"Car 54, Where Are You?" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Officer Francis Muldoon
BRAD MAJORS: Officer Gunther Toody
JANET WEISS: Lucille Toody
RIFF-RAFF: Officer Leo Schnauser
MAGENTA: Sylvia Schnauser
COLUMBIA: Muldoon's mother
DR. SCOTT: Officer O'Hara
ROCKY HORROR: Officer Kissel
EDDIE: Officer Ed Nicholson
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Captain Martin Block

"One Day at a Time" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Ann Romano Royer
BRAD MAJORS: Mark Royer
JANET WEISS: Barbara Cooper Royer
RIFF-RAFF: Dwayne Schneider
MAGENTA: Julie Cooper Horvath
COLUMBIA: Francine Webster
DR. SCOTT: Sam Royer
ROCKY HORROR: Alex Handris
EDDIE: Ed Cooper (Ann's ex-husband)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Grandma Katherine Romano

"The Donna Reed Show" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Donna Stone
BRAD MAJORS: Jeff Stone
JANET WEISS: Karen Holmby
RIFF-RAFF: Dr. Alex Stone
MAGENTA: Mary Stone
COLUMBIA: Trisha Stone
DR. SCOTT: Dr. Dave Kelsey
ROCKY HORROR: the milkman
EDDIE: Smitty
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Midge Kelsey

"Diff'rent Strokes" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Arnold Jackson
BRAD MAJORS: Willis Jackson
JANET WEISS: Charlene DuPrey (Janet Jackson's role)
RIFF-RAFF: Dudley Ramsey
MAGENTA: Mrs. Edna Garrett
COLUMBIA: Kimberly Drummond
DR. SCOTT: Phillip Drummond
ROCKY HORROR: Sam McKinney
EDDIE: Charley
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: guest star Nancy Reagan

"The Wonder Years" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Kevin Arnold
BRAD MAJORS: Jack Arnold
JANET WEISS: Norma Arnold
RIFF-RAFF: Wayne Arnold
MAGENTA: Karen Arnold
COLUMBIA: Winnie Cooper
DR. SCOTT: Mr. Pfeiffer (Paul's dad)
ROCKY HORROR: Coach Cutlip
EDDIE: Paul Pfeiffer
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Mr. Cantwell

"A Different World" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Denise Huxtable
BRAD MAJORS: Dwayne Wayne
JANET WEISS: Whitley Gilbert
RIFF-RAFF: Walter Oakes
MAGENTA: Jaleesa Vinson
COLUMBIA: Maggie Lauten
DR. SCOTT: Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable (guest appearance)
ROCKY HORROR: Vernon Gaines
EDDIE: Ron Johnson
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Col. Clayton Taylor

"Newhart" Cast (based on 1980's series)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Larry
BRAD MAJORS: Dick Loudon
JANET WEISS: Joanna Loudon
RIFF-RAFF: Michael Harris
MAGENTA: Stephanie Vanderkellen
COLUMBIA: Leslie Vanderkellen
DR. SCOTT: Chester Wannamaker
ROCKY HORROR: First Darryl
EDDIE: Second Darryl THE CRIMINOLOGIST: George Utley

"The River Wild" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Wade
BRAD MAJORS: Tom
JANET WEISS: Gail
RIFF-RAFF: Terry
MAGENTA: Maggie the dog
COLUMBIA: Tori
DR. SCOTT: Grandfather
ROCKY HORROR: Rourke E
DDIE: Frank
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Ranger Johnny

"What's Happening?" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Freddie "Rerun" Stubbs
BRAD MAJORS: Roger "Raj" Thomas
JANET WEISS: Nadine Thomas
RIFF-RAFF: Dwayne Clemens
MAGENTA: Shirley Wison
COLUMBIA: Dee Thomas
DR. SCOTT: Mama Thomas
ROCKY HORROR: Little Earl
EDDIE: "The Snake"
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Big Earl

"The Patty Duke Show" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Cathy Lane
BRAD MAJORS: Richard Harrison
JANET WEISS: Patty Lane
RIFF-RAFF: Ross Lane
MAGENTA: Natalie Lane
COLUMBIA: Maggie
DR. SCOTT: Martin Lane
ROCKY HORROR: Frankie Avalon (guest star)
EDDIE: Frank Sinatra, Jr. (guest star)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: J.R. Castle

"Step By Step" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Frank Lambert
BRAD MAJORS: Mark Foster
JANET WEISS: Carol Foster
RIFF-RAFF: Alicia "Al" Lambert
MAGENTA: Dana Foster
COLUMBIA: Penny
DR. SCOTT: Karen Foster
ROCKY HORROR: J.T. Lambert
EDDIE: Brendan Lambert
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Ivy

Relatively Modern Artists Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Salvador Dali
BRAD MAJORS: Diego Rivera
JANET WEISS: Frida Kahlo
RIFF-RAFF: Pablo Picasso
MAGENTA: Grandma Moses
COLUMBIA: Georgia O'Keefe
DR. SCOTT: J. Otto Seibold
ROCKY HORROR: Roy Lichtenstein
EDDIE: Jackson Pollack
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Andy Warhol

"Circle of Friends" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Sean
BRAD MAJORS: Jack
JANET WEISS: Benny
RIFF-RAFF: Eve's boyfriend
MAGENTA: Eve
COLUMBIA: Nan
DR. SCOTT: Benny's father
ROCKY HORROR: Nan's brother
EDDIE: Simon Westward
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Jack's father

"Interview With a Vampire" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Lestat
BRAD MAJORS: Louis [how 'bout that? Brad Pitt as Brad Majors!]
JANET WEISS: Claudia (Kirsten Dunst)
RIFF-RAFF: Antonio Banderas' character
MAGENTA: Louis' maid
COLUMBIA: the woman who died with Claudia
DR. SCOTT: the piano teacher
ROCKY HORROR: Antonio Banderas' sidekick
EDDIE: one of Louis' slaves
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: the interviewer (Christian Slater)

Horror Film Characters of the 1970's & 1980's Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Freddie Kruger ("Nightmare on Elms Street")
BRAD MAJORS: Jason Voorhees ("Friday the 13th")
JANET WEISS: Mary Lou ("Prom Night 2")
RIFF-RAFF: Chuckie ("Child's Play')
MAGENTA: Linnea Quigley (frequent victim in horror films)
COLUMBIA: Rainbeaux Smith (another frequent victim)
DR. SCOTT: Grandfather ("Texas Chainsaw Massacre")
ROCKY HORROR: Michael Myers ("Halloween")
EDDIE: Leatherface ("Texas Chainsaw Massacre") T
HE CRIMINOLOGIST: Norman Bates (numerous "Psycho" sequels)

"MTV's The Real World 4" Cast (based solely on the first episode)
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Neil
BRAD MAJORS: Jay
JANET WEISS: Jacinda
RIFF-RAFF: Lars
MAGENTA: Kat
COLUMBIA: Sharon
DR. SCOTT: Bruce (Jay's theater teacher)
ROCKY HORROR: Chris (Neil's girlfriend)
EDDIE: Michael
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Michael's father

Fast Food Chains Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Burger King
BRAD MAJORS: Wimpy's
JANET WEISS: Hot 'n' Now
RIFF-RAFF: Rally's
MAGENTA: Taco Bell
COLUMBIA: Pizza Hut
DR. SCOTT: McDonald's
ROCKY HORROR: Big Boy
EDDIE: Arby's
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Hardee's

"National Enquirer" Favorites Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Elizabeth Taylor
BRAD MAJORS: Prince Charles
JANET WEISS: Lady Di
RIFF-RAFF: Burt Reynolds
MAGENTA: Loni Anderson
COLUMBIA: Tonya Harding
DR. SCOTT: Kelsey Grammer
ROCKY HORROR: O.J. Simpson
EDDIE: Elvis (he keeps popping up on these lists)
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Woody Allen

and if you insist on being complete...

"Punky Brewster" Cast
DR. FRANK-N-FURTER: Margaux Kramer
BRAD MAJORS: Punky Brewster
JANET WEISS: Brandon
RIFF-RAFF: Allen Anderson
MAGENTA: Cherie Johnson
COLUMBIA: Mrs. Morton
DR. SCOTT: Mrs. Betty Johnson
ROCKY HORROR: Mike Fulton
EDDIE: Eddie Malvin
THE CRIMINOLOGIST: Henry Warnimont

***

BONUS FEATURE: Rating the "Rocky Horror" Supercouples on a scale of 1 to 10
BRAD & JANET - 1 (Bo-ring! No sparks whatsoever here.)
FRANK & ROCKY - 1 (What does Frank see in him?)
FRANK & JANET - 3 (I'm not seeing any chemistry here)
FRANK & BRAD - 8 (The film's most daring -- and funny -- couple, IMHO)
RIFF & MAGENTA - 5 or 10 (If you dig incest, they're a 10. If not, they're still a 5.) |
JANET & ROCKY - 2 (Two shallow indivuduals using each other.)
COLUMBIA & MAGENTA - 10 (I kinda wish the camera had stayed on them during "Touch-A")
COLUMBIA & EDDIE - 9 (The most genuine of all the couples)
FRANK & COLUMBIA - 10 (A flashback of them together would've been nice.)
FRANK & EDDIE - 1 (I just can't see it. They're both cool, but they're no couple.)

Special Thanks: The following people contributed cast lists...
Melissa B. Silverman (mbsilve@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu) "The Brady Bunch" "The Princess Bride" "Beverly Hills, 90210" "The Archies" "Saved By The Bell" "Doug" "Beauty and the Beast" "The Lion King" NBC Thursday Night Comedy Line-Up "Les Miserables" "Full House" "Back to the Future" "Into the Woods" "Degrassi High" Melissa's Pets (with some of her friends' pets) TV / Cartoon Animals "The Little Mermaid" "Aladdin" Disney Characters (second version) "Animaniacs" "Strawberry Shortcake" "MST3K" "Family Ties" Song Titles "Pulp Fitction" "Grease" "Mad About You" "Friends" "Sing" "In Living Color" (recurring characters) "Ferris Beuller's Day Off" "My So-Called Life" "The Simpsons" (first version) Bubble Gum If "RHPS" Characters Were Countries... V.C. Andrews Novels (five lists all together) If "RHPS" Characters Were Game Shows... If "RHPS" Characters Were Speech Team Events... Authors / Playwrights (Dead or Alive) Toys From Our Childhood "Nightmare Before Christmas" "A Chorus Line" Cable Networks "Wayne's World" "Clue" "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" "Pocahontas" "Little Women" "Interview With a Vampire" "Circle of Friends"
Mae Young from "The Master's Affairs" (MastersAff@aol.com) "Looney Toons" "Sesame Street" "The Wizard of Oz" "The Muppet Show" (both versions) Breakfast Cereal Mascots "Little Shop of Horrors" Brand Names "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood"
Ron Maxwell (RonMaxwell@aol.com) "The Rocky Mountain Biscuit Throw"
Psycho Tee (PsychoTee@aol.com) "Melrose Place"
Andrew Prock (prock@teetot.acusd.edu) "The Ronnie Horror Show"
Amanda B. Seigel (aseigel@hampshire.edu) Disco "Rocky Horror" "The Breakfast Club" Hippies New Queer Celebrities