Author: Laura Jacquez Valentine

Title: It's a Sin

Parts: 1/1

Rating: PG-13

Codes: K/S

Summary: A music video, full of angst.

Archive: ASC/ASCEM, R'Rains.  Private, single-computer archive OK.

Anywhere else, please ask me.



Anne, you may send this to BLTS, should you so desire.



Archivists, please use this version instead of the first one, posted

last week.



Disclaimer: Star Trek is the property of Paramount/Viacom.  "It's a Sin"

is the property of the Pet Shop Boys.  Both are used without permission,

and are used in a not-for-profit fashion.  This particular combination

of the elements belongs to me.



---



*fade in*

Spock is standing in a bare room, lit by a single spotlight.  He is

wearing only black jeans, and seems to be about thirty-six.  

He traces his bare toes along the floor like a dancer and raises his

head.  As the music speeds up, images begin to flicker across his bare

body, as though someone is using him as a movie screen.  They show him

at various stages in his life, as a child, at the Academy, on the

Enterprise.  He begins to sing.



//When I look back upon my life

It's always with a sense of shame

I've always been the one to blame//



Close-up on Spock's head and shoulders.  Someone's hand traces his

collarbone and runs over his shoulder.  Spock lowers his head, his eyes

closed, and the fingers of the hand tighten gently on his upper arm.



//For everything I long to do

No matter when or where or who//



Jim, his hands on his hips and in uniform, laughs at the camera.



//Has one thing in common, too//



Spock crosses his arms across his chest and looks down at the floor.  He

is still tracing arcs with his toes.



//It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sin

It's a sin

Everything I've ever done

Everything I ever do//



He looks directly at the camera, eyes black with anger and hurt.



//Every place I've ever been

Everywhere I'm going to

It's a sin//



Scene from "Yesteryear": other boys taunting young Spock and then

fighting him.  He tries so hard...



//At school they taught me how to be

So pure in thought and word and deed

They didn't quite succeed//



Sarek faces off with his young son. The boy Spock looks up at Sarek and sings:



//For everything I long to do

No matter when or where or who

Has one thing in common, too//



Sarek frowns disapprovingly, and takes a step closer to the boy, who

turns away, tears running down his face.



Back in the bare room.  The images stop playing as Spock kicks out his

leg and throws his arms back, and starts to dance.  He moves as

flicker-quick and graceful as a cat, pain writ in the lines of his face

as he continues to sing.



//It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sin

It's a sin

Everything I've ever done

Everything I ever do//



Scene from "Journey to Babel": Sarek turns away from Spock's greeting.

Kirk looks startled and angry as his eyes move from one of them to the

other. 



//Every place I've ever been

Everywhere I'm going to

It's a sin//



Young Spock turns back to face his father. Scene flashes to adult Spock,

kneeling before Sarek, his hands raised in supplication.  Sarek is

wearing his formal robes, Spock is still only in black jeans.



//Father, forgive me, I tried not to do it

Turned over a new leaf, then tore right through it//



Spock moves forward on his knees, reaching out to his father.



//Whatever you taught me, I didn't believe it//



Sarek strikes him across the face, knocking him to the ground.  Spock

raises himself on his arms, blood trickling from the corner of his

mouth.



Sarek takes a whip from under his robes and advances on his son.



//Father, you fought me, 'cause I didn't care

And I still don't understand//



Spock, in the bare room, holds Jim against his chest, his cheek pressed

to Jim's hair.



//So I look back upon my life

Forever with a sense of shame//



Close-up. Jim slips out of his arms and begins to kiss his way down

Spock's chest, moving out of sight at the end of Spock's ribcage.



//I've always been the one to blame//



Spock lowers his head to watch Jim (who is still out of range of the

camera).



//For everything I long to do//



Spock raises one arm to cross his chest and inhales sharply.  His

fingers are trembling.



//No matter when or where or who

Has one thing in common, too



It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sin

It's a sin//



Spock tosses his head back and cries out.  His hand tightens

convulsively on his shoulder, then drifts down over his chest, brushing

a nipple as it reaches down to draw Jim upright.



//Everything I've ever done

Everything I ever do//



Spock and Jim, both shirtless, are lying entwined on a bed covered in

white.  The contrast of their skin with the sheets and with each other

creates a work of art.



//Every place I've ever been

Everywhere I'm going to - it's a sin



It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sin

It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sin//



Spock is dancing alone in the bare room.  His quick, smooth motions

contrast sharply with the deep sadness in his face.  As he turns, we see

that his back is bleeding from the whipmarks that criscross over it.

*fade out*



---

End





--laura



laura jacquez valentine -+- http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/~jacquez

"I had no idea you were such a cad.  I'm impressed."

"Yes, Julian is gay. This seems to bother some people; they need to grow

up."