01 Aug 1999

Notes: Right. Who was it who said I couldn't write a serious Q/J? Fess
up.

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I looked up as the Gungan entered the room. I wasn't expecting him to
find me.

I wasn't expecting anyone to find me. Obi-Wan was visiting some of his
friends; Anakin was being tested by the Council; Amidala was probably
talking with Palpatine again.

I hadn't thought about what JarJar Binks was doing. Apparently, he was
looking for me.

"Meesa thought I find you here." He sat down next to me. "Queen
Amidala, she think her people gonna die. Gungans die, too. The Trade
Federation--bad news."

"Yes. Very bad news."

He touched my shoulder. "Why yousa worried? You bombad Jedi."

"Even the Jedi worry. About many things. I am worried about Obi-Wan."
So worried I couldn't sleep, although I was exhausted, body and mind.

"Obi-Wan. Maxi good pilot, Obi-Wan."

"Yes. Maxi good apprentice, too."

"So what yousa problem?"

I looked up at the ceiling. "Someone must train Anakin. I'll do it if
I have to. But I'll have to let go of Obi-Wan to do it. That will not
be an easy thing."

"Yousa love him?"

I smiled. "He has been my apprentice for twelve years. Even if I
didn't love him, it would be hard to let go."

JarJar touched my arm lightly. "Maxi big love, meesa think."

I let out a breath, and shuddered with the force of it. "So how do I
tell him? That I think he's ready, truly, and that I'm not just doing
this for Anakin? That I'm not setting him aside?"

He didn't answer. Maybe there was no answer. Maybe Obi-Wan would be
hurt no matter what I did. He *was* ready for the trials. More than
ready. He should have taken them months ago, but I...hadn't wanted to
let him go. And he was so young. How could I protect him if I wasn't
his Master?

How could I protect Anakin, if I was with Obi-Wan?

Something of my distress must have shown on my face, because the Gungan
wrapped his long, cool arms around me and held me, crooning softly. I
let him hold me, let his touch ground me, center me, focus me--

"Thank you," I murmured, my mouth against his neck.

"Tis demanded by da gods," he said, his fingers stroking through my
hair.

I closed my eyes and rested against him. Soon, the Council would call
me before them. Soon, Obi-Wan would bite back his pain to support me.
Soon.

But not now.

Now, there was only the rise and fall of JarJar's body against mine, the
cool press of his arms, and the gentle tangle of his fingers in my hair.

I slept.
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The End