Inspired by reading a little too much Sentinel smarm. Thanks to Indy for pointing me to some of the most...um...entertaining smarm I've ever read. MASOCHISM!!! MASOCHISMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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(MULDER strolls into Einstein's Folly and finds BLAIR already at the bar,
drinking Scotch.)
MULDER: Hey. What's up?
BLAIR: Mulder, can I fuck you?
MULDER: What? No!
BLAIR: That's right. I can't. You know why? Because I have no fucking
cock, that's why.
MULDER: What happened to your cock?
BLAIR: Smarm.
MULDER: What's smarm?
Blair: That's when someone decides that I need to completely and utterly
love Jim to the exclusion of everyone and everything else, and then decides
it's brotherly love and that, honestly, I can stand naked with the man
under a shower and not want to nail him to the wall.
MULDER: What?
BLAIR: You wouldn't understand. Where's Spock? He's gone through this
sort of thing.
SPOCK: I am here. What is the problem?
BLAIR: It's the old brother vs. lover thing, my friend. I have lost my
cock, and I'm in mourning.
SPOCK: I recall when fanfiction writers neglected my penis. It was most
unpleasant...as if I were trapped inside a rather demented fantasy that
refused to take a final step into something normal.
BLAIR: Some people think fucking other men isn't normal.
MULDER: It's not. Statistically.
(They stare at him.)
MULDER: In the U.S. In the 1990's.
(SPOCK looks away. BLAIR keeps staring at MULDER.)
MULDER: Well, among government agents, anyway. Maybe it's different with
academic types. Or something.
BLAIR (finishing his drink): I'm going to go get laid. At least I can
prove to myself I still have a cock.
SPOCK (under his breath): Tonight, on the Adventures of Captain Kock,
Captain Kock and his loyal first officer take a trip to Hunka Hunka Burnin'
Vulcan Land--
MULDER: I heard that. Who's having demented fantasies now?
---
The End
laura jacquez valentine -+- http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/~jacquez
Unused Steven Seagal Movie Title: MULDER'S FANTASY MAN
Jesus is a meme. -+- http://www.memepool.com/
