The Captain of this sucker
He was a dirty bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
From one place to another.

     Chorus
     Friggin' in the riggin'
     Friggin' in the riggin'
     Friggin' in the riggin'
     'cause there was fuck all else to do.

The Captain's name was Morgan
By Christ he was a Mormon
Ten tunes a day we'd play away
On his fucking organ.

     Chorus

The First Mate's name was Cooper
By Christ he was a trooper
He jerked and jerked until he worked
Himself into a stupor.

     Chorus

The Second Mate was Andy
By Christ he had a dandy
'Til they crushed his cock with jagged rocks
For coming in the brandy.

     Chorus

The cabin boy was Kipper
He was a fucking nipper
He stuffed his arse with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper.*

     Chorus

The Captain's wife was Mabel
By Christ she wasn't able
So the dirty shits they nailed her tits
Across the bar room table.

     Chorus

* alternate lyrics:

The cabin boy, the cabin boy,
The dirty little nipper
He packed his ass with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper.

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